The Intergalactic Host Program

[DrWho42 13]

"The Intergalactic Host Program"

by Laurel Winter

1. Welcome

 

You have been specially chosen or

randomly selected

-or your neighbor was specially chosen

and I/we missed him/her/it

so will have to make do with you-

to participate in an intergalactic host program.

Congratulations.

 

2. What to Do Now

 

Relax.

Mood-altering chemicals might be helpful.

Do not fight to regain immediate control.

I/we have come a long way for this

and resistance is

ill-mannered.

You will get your body back eventually-

unless the interface bond is permanent.

This can happen,

depending on the species involved,

but rarely occurs.

Occasionally the exit procedure turns the host

inside out, due to the complex and imperfect nature

of the interface; we apologize in advance

if this happens to you.

Remember: an irritated inhabitant

is more likely to step you into the path of

a vehicle of mass transit at the point of exit.

Be a congenial host (although not too congenial,

as some inhabitants do decide

to take up permanent residence).

 

3. Warning

 

Do NOT attempt to initiate early eviction

with masochistic behaviors.

Remember: this is your body

and you're stuck with it.

Besides, you cannot know

how an inhabitant will react to particular stimuli.

Some enjoy extremes of temperature,

the sensation of digits-or even limbs-being removed,

the taste of lutefisk.

Warning: The mental ingestion of

The Bridges of Madison County is considered

cruel and unusual punishment and

your entire planet will be held liable

if you inflict it on even the most unpleasant inhabitant.

 

4. Conclusion

 

Thank you for processing this information-

even if subconsciously.

I/we appreciate your involuntary participation

in the intergalactic host program.

Have a nice inhabitation.

From "Asimov's Science Fiction", Issue October/November 2002.

[please delete 0]

That's really funny, hee hee the rules of a body snatcher... I think that's what they are called lol...

[DrWho42 13]

That's really funny, hee hee the rules of a body snatcher... I think that's what they are called lol... 

:blink: They go by many names..

And take on many identities... Anyone else read this?

[Tal 0]

Yep i've read this but i've only just stoped lauging

 

 

:tank: :tomcat: :tank: