Beam me up 0 Posted May 8, 2004 21: Impulse engines stall when used in reverse. 20: Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88". 19: Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays. 18: Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now held up by phone book. 17: Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w". 16: Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room. 15: Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering. 14: Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward. 13: Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS. 12: Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become to steep for crew to climb. 11: Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board. 10: Holodeck becomes caught in infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears. 9: Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese. 8: Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer. 7: Bug in main computer speech proccessor:computer voice will either stutter or talk like Barbara Walters. 6: Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated O.J. 5: Ship's dryer indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed. 4: Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please, with sugar on it." 3: Riker unable to sleep for 2 wks when holodeck computer crashes and loses access to nude volleyball program. 2: Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are exhausted, and door must be replaced with bead curtains. 1: Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Star Trek Fan 0 Posted May 8, 2004 :) :( :( :lol: :( :( :( :lol: :lol: :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WEAREBORG4102 0 Posted May 8, 2004 that is hilarious!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites