Top 21 Signs Enterprise Is Nearing The End

[Beam me up 0]

21: Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

 

20: Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".

 

19: Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.

 

18: Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now held up by phone book.

 

17: Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".

 

16: Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.

 

15: Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.

 

14: Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.

 

13: Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.

 

12: Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become to steep for crew to climb.

 

11: Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

 

10: Holodeck becomes caught in infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

 

9: Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

 

8: Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer.

 

7: Bug in main computer speech proccessor:computer voice will either stutter or talk like Barbara Walters.

 

6: Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated O.J.

 

5: Ship's dryer indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed.

 

4: Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please, with sugar on it."

 

3: Riker unable to sleep for 2 wks when holodeck computer crashes and loses access to nude volleyball program.

 

2: Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are exhausted, and door must be replaced with bead curtains.

 

1: Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn.

[Star Trek Fan 0]

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[WEAREBORG4102 0]

that is hilarious!!!!