Q stole my bike 0 Posted March 25, 2004 How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Click for Spoiler: One. A warrior would not dishonor hiself by having another help him in such a mundane task. or Click for Spoiler: Two. One to put it in and one to kill the first guy and takes all the credit. How many Vulcans? Click for Spoiler: aproximetly 1.000000000000000000000000000000000... How many Borg drones? Click for Spoiler: They'd never get it in, they'd just stick their fingers in the socket to feed How many Betazoids? Click for Spoiler: Two. One to put it in and another to stand around and say "Darkness...I sense darkness!" How many members of the TOS crew? Click for Spoiler: Seven. First a lightblulb goes out in engineering, Bones pronounces the bulb dead,then Scotty discovers that they are out of lightbulbs so they have to find on at the nearby planet Alpha Regula IV. Kirk, Bones, Spock, and 3 anonomus redshirts beam down. The redshirts are promptly killed. The rest of the landing party is taken hostage by the natives. Bones cures the natives' king, who has the flu, and a reward he gives them the planets full supply of light bulbs. How many member of the TNG crew? Click for Spoiler: Nine.(light goes out on the bridge) Riker:GEORDI! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! Picard:Someone remove the lightbulb! Confernce in my ready room. (in Picard's ready room) Troi:(places hand on lightbulb) I sense...pain Worf: The lightbulb is useless, it must be disposed of (gets out phaser and puts it on the highest setting) Data: Captain, if I were to become non-functional like the bulb would I recieve a proper funeral, or be disposed of Picard: Not now, Data. Where's LaForge? Geordi:(steps into the room)Here, captain. We're out of light bulbs, but who needs light anyway? my VISOR allows me to see clearly, despite the absence of visible light. Beverly: That's it! I'll surgically remove everyone's eyes and get them all VISORs. Wesley: No way, Mom! I got it! I'll build us a positronic krigga-wave-condensing incandescent light generator! Riker : Excellent, Wes. BTW, WHAT THE HELL are you doing in this meeting? This is for senior officers only! Worf, put Ensign Crusher in the brig! Worf : (To Wes, grinning) You will walk or I will carry you! Bev : You're not touching my son! Everyone lurches. Outside, two Borg ships begin attacking the Enterprise. Everyone rushes to the bridge. Q suddenly appears on the bridge. Picard: Q! End this! Q : Temper temper, mon capitan. Can't you humans take a joke? (snaps fingers--Borg ships disappear) Picard: I didn't mean the Borg ships--I meant the light bulb! Q : Oh. Sorry (snaps fingers again--bulb is restored). Until next time! (flash of light--Q disappears) Picard: (hands restored bulb to Wes) prepare to screw light bulb. Wes : Aye, Captain (holds bulb in position over bulb socket) Picard: Engage! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Odo 0 Posted March 25, 2004 Clever Qsmb. Lots of free time huh? Just kidding. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace 0 Posted March 25, 2004 How many Betazoids? Click for Spoiler: Two. One to put it in and another to stand around and say "Darkness...I sense darkness!" Classic. The TNG story was good as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stoned_vulcan 0 Posted March 25, 2004 Data: Captain, if I were to become non-functional like the bulb would I recieve a proper funeral, or be disposed ofPicard: Not now, Data. Where's LaForge? that was the best part i howled good post lol when i was reading TOS i didnt think it could get better then i read TNG lol! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Q stole my bike 0 Posted April 5, 2004 Thought of another one! How many Cardassians? Click for Spoiler: It depends, how many lights are there? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabri 0 Posted April 11, 2004 LOL! I especially like the TNG one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
