Commander Uhura

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Posts posted by Commander Uhura


  1. Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.

     

    As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.

     

    My kids came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

     

    As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

     

    I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks Jane,that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

     

    We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

     

    On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

     

    I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

     

    After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss,if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back."

     

    "Ok." I nervously replied.

     

    She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake . Followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

     

    And I just sat there...

    On the couch...

    Naked


  2. Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk

    Everyone else in the room stops to listen

    MAN: "Hello"

    WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

    MAN: "Yes"

    WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

    MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."

    WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."

    MAN: "How much?"

    WOMAN: "$60,000"

    MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

    WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

    MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

    WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

    MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

    The man hangs up. The other men in the

    locker room are looking at him in astonishment

     

    Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"


  3. is there anyway to keep up with information? for example I changed my username from B'Elanna_Torres to Silent_Dreams. I sent a pm and informed the mod and they corrected that in the trivia ranks. After updating the trivia ranks my old username is still being used.

    92 B'Elanna_Torres Ensign 32

     

    also after I changed my username there is a new member that registered as B'Elanna_Torres.