My Star Trek Adventure

[emanon 0]

The best day of my miserable life

 

Today was the day I was going to land on my distant planet (re:Finger Inc song), one way or another. My plan was simple, I had none. All I knew was that I was going to go to the Star Trek Adventure and see the exhibits. I had

the night before posted a request to meet someone there, if they wanted to, and although it would have made the the day that bit more special, alright, perfect, I did not expect her to show. Women, you know what they are like.

 

I had also posted my April Fools Day Invasion plan, which would help to create my distant planet, if those involved could be bothered to listen and act on their own Brian Branes. My hopes for that happening were actuall very high, as the plan was fool proof and provided a get-out clause too. 'ha-ha April Fools!!', should the (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't) hit the fan. Plus the cover of the gag itself allowed the identification of Friend-or-Foe unnecessary. If they were you Foe then they would have to play along with the gag, otherwise they would been seen for what they were, your FOE!!

 

So I did my chores, as I drove down the road, the traffic built up, and I thought, "great, they have blocked the city centre". I ignored the radio and television and set off to The Star Trek Adventure, with all my gonks and (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't). You have to have gonks AND (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't), otherwise the magic doesn't work. So off I trundle down the tube listening to my walkman, which was playing Whodini, *looks to one side and smirks*, for obvious reasons.

 

When I listen to music, it can sometimes become synchronised with my life, this was such a time, 'Underground' played in my headphones. I hadn't planned the journey at all, I had just taken an A-Z and I knew it was in Hyde Park. So out I popped and off I walked towards Hyde Park, asking directions on the way. I put my Sunglasses on as I approached the park, you have to wear your sunglasses to see what you ain't looking at. I was looking at where I was going, maybe I missed something that was going on in the other direction. I don't know and I didn't really care. I do not really want to get involved with you lot, but really, you couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery let alone a planet.

 

So I walked down to the show, only to discover it wasn't open until 12PM, bang goes my plan. "Oh well, (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't) happens' I thought, so off I went to look at some music and video's, down TCR. Guess what? The tube was busted, so I had to go by bus. I picked up a Metro and read it at the bus stop. In it was an article with the title "Are you Psychic?", no I am not. Then there was the password for my super powers, a Sparticus picture and interview with Kirk Douglas, or something. I didn't pay attention, I wasn't interested. The bus was taking ages, so I walked down the road. I used to walk alot around central London,and in the distance I could see Centre Point.

 

As I walked down I noticed a H&M shop and wondered if my 'date' was in there shopping as she likes to do. But I

hate that (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't), so I wasn't even interested in looking in there for her. Eventually I reached HMV, as I entered I noticed here album was on sale, $5, so if you want a very good album, please buy it. I then went off and did what I do best, I browsed. I found a book on Run DMC, and a few albums that I had wanted but don't really have the cash-money for at the moment. But to see them in the shops was nice.

 

I checked what time it was, and then departed the store.

 

It was raining. That was my cue to put my sunglasses back on again. A man wearing sunglasses in the rain is an odd sight, even for London isn't? but that is me, I am weird. As I walked up to Hyde Park I saw the posters for the film 'Stand alone', which made me smile, because that is me in my mind. A man taking the World on and winning. Then there was a poster for 'Johnny English' with Mr Bean as a James Bond character. That is me too, a sort of Columbo with attitude. That poster made me burst out laughing. Which I think was spotted by some sort of security team as I was nearly bumped into by a very tall bloke, who checked me out. I just laughed, because those sorts of things happen to me all the time. Eventually we managed to negotiate past each other.

 

As I entered Hyde Park corner I decided to go for a drink. So I popped into a Pret-a-manger and ordered a cappauccino, and some napkins, for my hair. I was soaking.

 

END OF PART ONE

 

I wandered back to the Star trek Adventure, getting lost in the maze of underpasses on the way. As always, I noticed Brian Brane 'messages' and 'signs', throughout my journey, this is a feature of my view of the Universe. I walked into the building wet and soggy, bit otherwise happy. Once my ticket had been taken I walked about the exhibition in a anti-clockwise manner, looking at all of the props used by the show. The film Galaxy Quest had made me laugh as it poked fun at some aliens thinking all the Star Trek shows were documentaries. This idea fitted nicely into my Brain Brane theory. I too was disappointed at just how 'fake' the props were. But there you go, you need imagination to talk to the Universe.

 

I asked one of the security people if I could take photo's and they said yes. The whole place was virutally deserted, so off i went and snapped away. I liked the Quorks bar area and the bottles, I too have a large amount of bottles and glasses on display at home. Next were the costumes. The one that caught my eye was the wedding dress for 'The Perfect Mate', and I paused for a moment and thought about what had become of my 'date'. Maybe she never read the posting, maybe she bottled it, maybe she was watching somewhere? I looked about abit but the place was still pretty empty.

 

There was a line of shuttle crafts, so I decided to take a look. The operator directed me to the chairs inside the craft and started doing the safety talk. The the door shut. And I was alone in the darkness. "Maybe this shuttle can take me to my Distant Planet", I thought. The whole shuttle moved violently about as the CGI graphics screen displayed a Star Trek scene and proceeded to manauvre about a destroyed Borg vessel, eventually landing on the nearest M-class planet. I laughed my head off during the ride, as it was very, very violent. The doors opened and I asked the operator if the ineertial dampeners were off line or something, but he was not a Trekkie so the gag was wasted on him. That ride, did sort of get me going. But there were no aliens waiting to greet me, other than the operator, a human being. Maybe you lot are the aliens after all?

 

I continued with my investigation of the exhibits. Looking at the Nemisis ship and taking some pictures. Eventualy I decided to go for a coffee and rest. Like the fool I am, I could not get the coffee machine to work, so the lady behind the counter helped me. I sat down and had my drink and a bun. The place was still empty, probably only twenty people in the whole building. I finished off my tour and then made my way to the exit.

 

Oh I nearly forgot. There was a film your own Star Trek show bit. The lady on it was very nice, I looked into her eyes and had the old warm feeling you get when you like someone. We chatted for a bit and she showed me the video screens for the films other people had made. They were really very good, funny good, better than You've been framed, and the concept would make a good TV show, should anyone wish to use it.

 

The lady asked me whether I liked Star Trek, the original show. I replied yes, and she said something about how charming captain Kirk was. I smiled and mentioned something about how he always manged to shag the aliens. This was a conversation killer, and she went to sit at her desk and watch TV. I noticed her hair was red. This was part of my A Silence Affair album, with the track Red Head. But she was not my 'date', even though she was quite lovely, and if my 'date' had not already taken my heart, she might have been a nice alternative. *smirks* I will explain that smirk later.

 

So off I went to the exit. That last part is a mini-show, with a warp coil and a bridge set-up. Before you enter there is a short video. The narator discussed the Enterprise, and how it was the 'show'. I sensed a bit of emotion coming through his voice, and I thought about how I had equated the 'enterprise' with The Internet, 'enterprise' is the term given to a corporate network. Which might be thought of as ships in the Federation.

 

Funny how Brian Brane links all these things together, isn't it?

 

So off I went through the mini-show. The lift broke down between engineering and the bridge, and I commented on how nothing had changed to one of the other occupants. I was trapped in a lift with my son for an hour in 2001, before I was ill.

 

So off we went to the bridge to watch a Borg cube being destroyed. "Hurrah we got the mutha's" I thought, it's nice and easy when you know the ending of these show's isn't it!!??

 

So off I walk into the unknown, had I reached my distant planet? Not really, the merchandise was still there, and it was still overpriced, although it was good quality. There were also not phasors, or communicators there, I had hoped to buy these, rather than order them from the Internet. There was a book by William Shatner called 'Turning Start Trek science into real science' or something like that.

 

That's what I have already done with my book, TV show and music, if you want to take a look. I had sent a copy of my World Peace album series to the Star Trek magazine, thinking they might want to publish it as a free-bee, but they never did. Oh well, there you go.

 

As I walked out into the wet afternoon I thought "I wonder if my April Fools Day Invasion worked?". Is this my Distant Planet or am I still stuck on Planet (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't)-up?

 

I meandered back to the tube station, and took an East bound train back to home.

 

END OF PART TWO

 

So the best day of my life had turned out to be just another good day. But there you go, Brian has no sense of time and so maybe the timeline and (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't) needs to sort itself out a bit. You know these multi-dimensional entities they are so fickle (re:'Q').

 

I bought the Evening Standard to see if anything had gone down. No. What a pity. Still on Planet (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't)-up then.

 

The next day I was watching Kiss on TV, and there Kylie's video 'please stay'. Suddenly I thought back to the lady at the Star Trek video exhibit. She was Australian and looked a bit like Kylie, and in that video Kylie has reddish hair. "Interesting" I thought, "Very interesting". Now most celebrities could walk past me and I wouldn't notice them. In fact, would you be looking for a celebrity behind a counter, or sweeping the road?

 

Another interesting concept.

 

Then I remembered a lady in my sons school who looked like one of the Corrs. I hadn't noticed her before, but really I don't really notice people that much anyway, I am a tad autistic.

 

So maybe my Distant Planet is just taking a bit of time to kick in.

 

Let's see shall we?

[Mayday 0]