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Which Star Trek Characters Should Be In Obama's Cabinet

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Which Star Trek Characters Should Be In Barack Obama's Cabinet?

By Tommy Christopher

Nov 19th 2008 8:07AM

 

 

With the release of the newest trailer to the upcoming 11th Star Trek movie, entitled Trek (not to be confused with the forthcoming musical, Trek!), it became obvious to me that as soon as the Starship Enterprise arrives here in May, Barack Obama will be forced to dump his entire cabinet in favor of the far superior candidates who populate that fair vessel.

 

Ever the helpful former cadet (I was drummed out of Starfleet Academy for constantly setting my phaser on "strip"), I have compiled a list of appointments for Senator Obama, to help speed the transition.

 

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James T. Kirk: Initially, I favored Secretary of State for Kirk, but it occurred to me that his diplomatic skills could be compromised if he ever encountered a foreign leader with a green wife. A more prudent post that makes use of his skills would be Secretary of Defense.

 

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Mr. Spock: With his signature mantra of "Live long and prosper," I was tempted to give him Treasury and Health and Human Services (although it'd be nice to have a human in that post). With his ability to mindmeld, however, Spock is a natural to head the Justice Department as Attorney General. Do you need a warrant for a mindmeld?

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Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy: The obvious choice here is Health and Human Services. Still, I think I'd rather see McCoy as Secretary of State, just so that whenever Obama asks him for advice, he can say, "Dammit, Barack, I'm a doctor, not a diplomat!"

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Montgomery "Scotty" Scott: Easy. Secretary of the Treasury. How much could President Bush have used somebody to say, "The economy can't take much more of this! She'll break apart!"

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Hikaru "Sulu" Sulu: I could never figure out if Sulu was a navigator, or a helmsman. In much the same way, Homeland Security seems to be a department in search of an identity, with wide-ranging responsibilities and myriad agencies. Let them find themselves together.

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Pavel Chekhov: That guy never did much of anything, but Vice President is already taken. It might be fun to have a Secretary of Education who thinks that everything comes from Russia. I never got that. There's world peace in the 23rd century, but Soviet propaganda endures?

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Nyota Uhura: While not technically a cabinet position, Uhura would be a natural for White House Communications Director. Barack would just have to get used to the fact that, no matter what type of physical trauma she endures, Uhura only feels pain in her neck.

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Khan Noonian Singh: In keeping with Obama's Lincolnian strategy of appointing rivals, Khan is a natural for a prominent post. His superhuman strength, superior intellect, and single-mindedness of purpose suit him well to the position of Secretary of the Interior.

 

In an effort at bipartisanship, Obama could round out his cabinet with characters from Star Wars. But that's another story.

 

:P

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