Takara_Soong 4 Posted September 16, 2003 AXIOM - An obvious or generally accepted principle. 01) Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapeños -- you never know what's going to burn your *buttocks*. 02) I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. 03) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.. 04) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again. 05) I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. 06) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling? 07) My reality check bounced. 08) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. 09) I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier ! 10) You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. 11) Everyone is someone else's weirdo. 12) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. 13) Be careful . . .a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the *buttocks*. 14) Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted. 15) The more (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't) you put up with, the more (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't) you are going to get. 16) You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. 17) So this isn't Home Sweet Home . . . Adjust! 18) Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! 19) I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. 20) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. 21) I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump. 22) Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich! 23) What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it! 24) How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goose 0 Posted September 17, 2003 Stardate:213710.8 Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling? LOL thats my favorite.It sounds like a Jack Handy Quote(Saturday Night Live) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kyalia 0 Posted September 20, 2003 That was hilarious. Especially the last one. *chomp* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Riaan 0 Posted September 22, 2003 B) B) I can't say anything...I'm laughing too hard! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dsbs 0 Posted September 22, 2003 Stardate:213710.8 Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling? LOL thats my favorite.It sounds like a Jack Handy Quote(Saturday Night Live) Mine too B) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barry 0 Posted September 22, 2003 Stardate:213710.8 Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling? LOL thats my favorite.It sounds like a Jack Handy Quote(Saturday Night Live) Mine too B) Thats mine as well B) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
