Lollypop 0 Posted June 13, 2003 Click for Spoiler: THINGS YOU MIGHT MAKE IT THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING 1. HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER? You boil the hell out of it. 2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL? Dam. 3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG? Polaroids. 4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A stick. 5. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? Nacho Cheese. 6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS? Subordinate Clauses. 7. WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND? Quatro Sinko. 8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW? Spoiled milk. 9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE? Frostbite. 10. WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES? A nervous wreck. 11. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP? Anyone can roast beef. 12. WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS? Right where you left him. 13. WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS? Because they have big fingers. 14. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE? Because it scares the hell out of the dog. 15. WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC? Sanka. 16. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER? The location of the dirt bag. 17. WHY DOES A PILGRIM'S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat. 18. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKY DIVER? A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes damn, whack. 19. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT? Unique up on it. 20. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT? Tame way, unique up on it. 21. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS? Skeet. 22. WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP? An Amish Drive-By Shooting. 23. HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME? Either way, somebody's gonna lose a trailer Alright, already..................... Don't blame me. I didn't write them. Just trying to bring a bit of cheer into focus. Remember.................Laughter Is The Best Medicene. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klingonmike 0 Posted June 13, 2003 Very funny stuff! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goose 0 Posted June 13, 2003 213447.9 My favorite was the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrekkieMage 0 Posted June 13, 2003 LMAO! 18. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKY DIVER? A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes damn, whack. B) B) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abakai2003 0 Posted June 13, 2003 they where good. what about these? 1) what would happen if Microsoft made a vacume cleaner? It would be the first thing they made that didn't SUCK! 2) whats brown and sticky? A stick! 3) 3 Parrots in a cage 1 at the bottom 1 in the middle and 1 at the top, which one has an owner? the one at the bottom, the other two are on higher perches! 4)how do you find a whales wieght? Take it to a whale way station! 5)whats the diference between a woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb! 6)whats a bigamist? A large fog over Rome! and finaly 7)why dose it take a woman with PMT 6 hrs to chane a lightbulb? Click for Spoiler: BECAUSE IT DOSE OK!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah 0 Posted June 14, 2003 hahahahahhahahaha B) I thought that those were joke only my dad knew!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ARMS 0 Posted June 14, 2003 Click for Spoiler: THINGS YOU MIGHT MAKE IT THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING 1. HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER? You boil the hell out of it. 2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL? Dam. 3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG? Polaroids. 4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A stick. 5. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? Nacho Cheese. 6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS? Subordinate Clauses. 7. WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND? Quatro Sinko. 8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW? Spoiled milk. 9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE? Frostbite. 10. WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES? A nervous wreck. 11. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP? Anyone can roast beef. 12. WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS? Right where you left him. 13. WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS? Because they have big fingers. 14. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE? Because it scares the hell out of the dog. 15. WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC? Sanka. 16. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER? The location of the dirt bag. 17. WHY DOES A PILGRIM'S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat. 18. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKY DIVER? A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes damn, whack. 19. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT? Unique up on it. 20. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT? Tame way, unique up on it. 21. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS? Skeet. 22. WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP? An Amish Drive-By Shooting. 23. HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME? Either way, somebody's gonna lose a trailer Alright, already..................... Don't blame me. I didn't write them. Just trying to bring a bit of cheer into focus. Remember.................Laughter Is The Best Medicene. Someones been to the big book of manners...... :o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
