LordOfTheBorg 1 Posted March 14, 2005 These are Da bomb! lol! Click For Spoiler 10. M*A*S*H: After Radar gets a Seven of Nine action figure in the mail, Hawkeye and BJ go around ordering nurses or "Engage" and "Make it so" during life-and-death surgery. It makes for laughs, but patient mortality rates soar. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. X-Files: When a serial killer leaves a trail of "Vulcan Death Grip" victims in his wake, Mulder and Scully track a dork with pointy ears to "the Bridge" (actually a brownstone in New York). Unfortunately, during a drug-induce "mind meld," the two FBI agents realize with horror that they're actually not even remotely attracted to each other. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. Happy Days: Aging hipster The Fonz finds new life as a Trekkie when TOS debuts on NBC. Life continues pretty much as usual: he keeps his dead-end job, lives in his childhood friend's mother's attic, and still wears the clothes he had in high school. His dating days, however, come to an abrupt end. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Nova: Top scientist from around the world meet supposedly to discuss the viability of Star Trek science, but end up just spending the hour saying "Warp drive" in really serious voices, and then giggling like idiots. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. The Year Star Wars Stole Christmas Special: Ten million dollars spent on the animation can't disguise the fact that this is just a bunch of disgruntled merchandisers crying over the 1999 Mattel Christmas Catalog. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. Gilligan's Island: This Federation ship stuck in a sort of subspace island and can't get home, despite the fact that they get a million visitors and the operations officer keeps the radio working on a single pair of batteries for the entire series. In a really bitter twist, the show gets sued by Paramount for hitting just a little too close to home. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Barney and Friends: "I love you./You love me./Star Trek was shown on NBC./Now there's gonna be wrestlers on Voy-a-ger./This show won't -- What? Hey! You can't come in here with -- BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! (and the children all cheer) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. I, Claudius: Naomi Wildman is sold into prostitution, Scotty is sacrificed to the gods, Paris becomes Nero's "special friend," and Neelix is made emperor. Ah! Such is the will of the Fates! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Emeril Live!: Yes, it seemed like a good idea to have an "all Klingon" night on the show, but when Emeril went to "kick it up a notch," the gagh leapt from the plate and strangled him to death. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Who's the Boss?: A God-awful solid half-hour of Janeway just staring at everyone until they shuffle off to their stations. Additions... Click For Spoiler 18. COPS: Camera crews follow redshirted security personnel on away missions, and all we see is the security personnel being killed in the first few minutes with no idea of what they were to investigate. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17. Homicide: Life On The Ship On the mean hull plates of the gritty lower decks, Security Chief Frank Pembleton battles the kind of low-lifes that make a Denebian slime devil look good. With a wide-eyed ensign at his side, and the dubious assistance of a former stand-up comic and a clone from Baldwin’s Planet, Frank will battle evil while facing the challenge of finding a hat that will go with that uniform. Look for occasional guest appearances by a Bajoran rebel turned medical examiner. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16. Mission: Impossible “Good morning, Mr. Kirk. Your mission, as always is to do the impossible in a really cool way. If any of your I.M. team is caught or killed (which we both know isn’t going to happen) the Federation will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This PADD will self-destruct in five seconds.” Jim Kirk then assembles his team: First, Spock, a tall thin guy with an almost Satanic look - a master of disguise and often seems to have the uncanny ability to look into the badguy’s minds to see what they are planning. Next, McCoy, some call him "The Doc" and others call him "Bones," but don’t let his bedside manner fool you. He may not be a bricklayer or a magician, but he can ‘take you apart’ and just as easily put back together - if he wants to. The rest of the team includes: Scott - the mechanic, give him a toaster and he’ll make it into a rocket launcher, let him tinker under the hood and you’ll break the speed of light and the laws of physics, and give him a bottle of Scotch and make it into an empty container suitable for holding liquids. Uhura - the comm-tech and linguist, she’s so good that you almost think that she could hear you thinking at 200 yards. Add to that that she can build or fix any radio ever made just by poking it with a sharp stick and giving it a stern look (imagine what she could do to that mess of wires behind your stereo...) Sulu - the driver, put him behind the controls of anything with wheels, wings, or long, round ‘engine-things’ and he goes fast; very, very fast. He’s also very good with weapons (he’s probably had some kind of Special Forces training at one time). Checkov - he’s young now, but if he lives long enough, he should some day make a fine team leader himself. He also seems to have some latent psychic powers that may develop over time. Finally, Chapel - she screams real good, and also falls well (some have said like a sack of potatoes). "Gene"’etically, she has the potential to eventually run the whole I.M. Force, but will probably have a hard time getting beyond her "blonde" persona. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15. Drop Dead Fred Dax: Ezri Dax finds out one morning that instead of having eight previous hosts, she has had nine. She wakes up one morning and finds half of her hair shaved off. She looks in the mirror and behind her is a man with red hair wearing a lime green sport jacket and checked pants. (Or is it a checked sport jacket and lime green pants?) He says to her, "Hi, snotface!! Remember me?" Watch this hilarious DS9 episode with its pratfalls: Ambassador Worf sitting down to a state dinner and sitting on a whoopee cushion. ("Fred, why are you doing this?!!" "Ah, C'mon snot face! Jadzia always thought Worf was cute when he was mad!") Colonel Kira finds five of the Tears of the Prophets missing. She finds Ezri in her quarters juggling them. ("Fred, these are irreplaceable!"). These and other hijinks await! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14. Power Rangers in Space: The Enterprise is sent to rescue Spock and Kirk, with Scotty having to kill the captain so that the universe will be purged of evil. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13. The Simpsons: The four series meet and merge. Meet Homer O'Brien Simpson(doh) working at the nuclear plant under Locutus Burns (asking for a raise is futile). Meet his sensible wife Marge Christine Chapel. Mext meet their three children Bart Tom Paris, Jadzia Lisa Dax, and Maggie Molly O'Brien (she's eleven years old and hasn't said her first word). Special appearances by the Worf the Klingon bus driver. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. Gone with the Wind: Year of Hell moves to Georgia, as Miss Kathryn abandons her principles, her Starfleet upbringing, and her uniform jacket to beg, borrow, steal, and marry her way towards restoring a battered Voyager to its former glory. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. Law & Order: In the first half hour, odd-couple partners Tuvok and Neelix, under the supervision of their kick-*buttocks* precinct captain, Kathryn Janeway, work long hours combing forensic reports and bullying witnesses to collect evidence on a secret ship-board gambling ring. In the second half hour, Q appears as a curmudgeonly judge, as DA Chakotay and his fiesty assistant DA B'Elanna Torres present the case against Tom Paris, whose arrogant, but skilled attorney, Seven of Nine, uses the relatively new post-Caretaker stress syndrome defense to get him acquitted by the jury. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
