zero-x's personal logs

[zero-x 0]

Okies, well this is my first attempt at a personal log thing. The stardate... Today.

 

I went to watch Bury FC play at their home in Gigg Lane today against Chester. We should have won the football game, but Chester took the lead and it was only a Chris Porter late second-half goal that secured a draw for us. Oh, and Colin Woodthorpe got send off as well, but he had no other choice but to drag the player down.

 

But that's not the most important part of my day. Two weeks ago, my best friend, a girl called Laura, told me that she loved me, and we began to get very close, and now she has returned from a fortnight-long holiday, and has decided that she no logner wants to be close to anybody. She doesn't want to have a relationship with anybody for a long time, as she has had a few bad relationships before me. She said that she did mean it when she told me she loved me previously, but is now no longer sure if she loves me. She isn't sure of anything any more.

 

So my heart is broken. And it's cold here, and she can't be with me to hug me. I feel so alone and unloved. She was my first love and I am now devastated, but single. If you are an attractive girl who is around age 15, feel free to contact me...

 

End of log entry.

[DrWho42 13]

Awww, hope things turn out better soon.

Shall look forward to more entries.

 

 

Btw, your name is not Thunderbirds-related, right?

Click For Spoiler

[zero-x 0]

Thanks for that, mate. And yes, my name does come from the rocket in the film Thunderbirds Are Go... You're the first person who has noticed that. Are you a fan of Thunderbirds?

[DrWho42 13]

Thanks for that, mate. And yes, my name does come from the rocket in the film Thunderbirds Are Go... You're the first person who has noticed that. Are you a fan of Thunderbirds?

254042[/snapback]

Your welcome. :o

 

Yes, I am also a fan of the Thunderbirds. :cool1:

It's a cool show, and those machines they feature in the episodes are very neat, such as the Fireflash and etc.

Haven't seen the 2004 movie of Thunderbirds yet, I might later, but I doubt Frakes did what Anderson wanted...

[zero-x 0]

Oh yeh the ships were amazing. I went to see the film at it's special charity premiere, and it was awful, to be honest, and nothing like what Gerry Anderson would have wanted.

 

Anyway.. Personal log stardate 22-08-04...

 

I have no idea really what I'm going to do today. I've been trying to contact the girl who broke my heart, but her phone has been switched off. She's probably still asleep. But I've been trying to contact my best friend as well, and she isn't answering her phone either, so I don't have much to do.

 

I might go out cycling in Blackpool later, or play a bit of football. I won't enjoy it as much as I could though because I need to see Laura again and try and talk things through, and my mind will be on her all the time.

 

She did talk to me on the phone last night and she seemed less hostile than she had done before. She actually seemed quite friendly but also seemed worried that if I met up with her again, she would end up hugging and kissing me again, and so some time this week myself, her and our mutual best friend Stacey will be going shopping together, even though I just need to talk things through with Laura. At the end of our phone conversation, she was in a rush to get off the phone because she nearly got caught using it when she shouldn't have been, and I said, as I always do, "Bye, love you." and to my surprise she said, "Love you too." She said before she didn't know whether she still did, but then she goes and says this... but maybe it was just a slip of the tongue caused by an old habit. I'm so confused and I just need to talk to her!

 

End of log entry

[zero-x 0]

Personal log supplemental.

 

Just got off the phone to Laura now and she says she didn't mean it when she said she loved me last night, and only said it to get rid of me. So I'm not exactly happy now. She seemed angry and hostile, but that was because she was tired, and she has two ex-boyfriends pestering her as well. She also said that she doesn't want to meet up with me until I go out with her and Stacey together. But it's not like I'm going to try anything, I just want to talk. I haven't seen her for weeks and I want to see her soon! Am I being naive in thinking she doesn't want to see me because she is scared her real feelings will come out and we might cuddle or kiss?

 

End log entry.

[Odie 0]

It sounds like she just had bad experiences in past relationships and worry the same thing may happen again. Try find out what happen to her, but let her tell it in her own time. Just let her know that you love her and that you will support her. It very hard when you can't be with someone. I know how you feel. If you want to know more just PM me and I will explain.

[Eris_IV 0]

Odie has a good point, there, Zero...I pretty much told you all I could in messenger yesterday, so I'd only be repeating myself.

But I totally forgot that you mentioned that Laura had two ex-boyfriends pestering her...I could see how she would be irritated rather easily now...Perhaps even she is doing this for your safety? Didn't one of her exes confront you about her or something and said bad things to you on the Bury message boards?...She may be just trying to protect you from them by not being with you...yet...

"Time heals all wounds..."

[zero-x 0]

Personal log stardate 23-08-04

 

I have been in touch wit my best friend called Stacey. She's a really nice person, and a mutual friend of Laura's as well. Last night, Laura kept on ignoring me, until she phoned me up once and told me to stop calling her. I guess I might have been pestering her, but earlier in the day she had actually asked me to call her.

 

I tried to phone her once this morning, but she put the phone down on me again. Anyway, I was talking to Stacey and she said she would talk to Laura and ask her what's wrong. I did hear from Stacey yesterday that Laura still wanted to be friends with me and wanted to see me loads. I hope she is right.

 

I'm off playing squash today, because the weather doesn't look too great at the moment, so I can't go cycling again.

 

End log entry.

[zero-x 0]

Personal log supplemental.

 

Just got off the phone to Laura now, and she was actually being NICE to me! :) Weird, huh? Anyway, we are very good friends again now it would seem, and we are going to talk some more later. Although we aren't going to be as close as she promised, it seems we can still be close friends. She has been in a bad mood after coming home from her holiday because she really enjoyed it and has come to despise Britain, and she has just had to dump her boyfriend, and her ex-boyfriend is still pestering her, so she has lots on her plate.

 

She says that maybe there could be something in the future but at the moment she doesn't want any kind of relationship with anybody for a long time, but we are still friends now. So that's cool.

 

End log entry.

[ragingtarg 0]

It sounds like she just needed some time to cool off or something. But I hope things get better between the two of you, I know how horrible it feels. Cheer up, dude =D

[zero-x 0]

Personal log stardate 26080.4

 

Things are getting better at last :) Laura has been talking to me on the phone and has been being nice. Stacey has also talked to her and asked her is she liked me as more than just a friend, and she said she didn't know. Although Stacey actually believes that Laura does love me deep down and she can tell in her face that when I say I love her, it makes her very happy.

 

Anyway, there is still a problem. I've been talking to Stacey a lot, and she says that she likes me and it would be great if we could be more than just friends. Which is very cool because I really like her as well. But she says we should just see how it goes as she believes if Laura turned round and said she loved me, then I would forget about Stacey (it hurts me to say it, but I guess I would), and she says she would feel second best to Laura anyway.

 

Sooo... Tomorrow, the three of us are meeting up for a few hours in town and Stacey told me today that she has a plan to make Laura prove to me that she does still want to have more than just a friendship with me. I'm nervous now because I don't know what she's planning to do... whether she intends to say to Laura, "Tell him you love him or I will force you to eat a burger..." or something like that (she's a veggie)

 

Anyway that's it for now. I'm off to Blackpool cycling. Toodles!

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Well my friend you do have a tough decision to make i see, but would it not be a good idea to have the both?, nowadays it is very normal to have friends

[zero-x 0]

Personal log supplemental.

 

I've just gotten off the phone to Laura and she says she will phone me later once her visiting cousin has left. But at the end of the conversation I said, "Love you." and she said, "Love you too... oh my god I can't believe I said that." I dunno whether she said it because it is how she feels in her heart, and just doesn't want to admit it, or whether it was just another slip of the tongue.

 

I guess I will find out soon if she calls me. Eek and I'm meeting them both tomorrow. I'm so nervous!

[zero-x 0]

Personal log stardate 31080.4

 

Flipping heck it feels like I haven't been on here for ages, and I guess I haven't. Well, I have been really busy. On Saturday I played football in the morning for Forever Bury FC and we drew 4-4, then had a few drinks, then went up to Rochdale to watch Bury FC beat our local rivals 3-0 which was excellent!

 

On Sunday, we got up early again and went to help set up stalls at a fundraising event for Forever Bury. The horrible rainy weather threatened to ruin the whole event. Anyway, eventually, I had to run the coconut shy and also go in net in the penalty shoot-outs until the proper goalkeeper arrived. It was cool, we made loads of money, but it was tiring and we had to put all the stuff away afterwards, and I was completely exhausted afterwards.

 

Cue another ealry wake-up call on Monday where I again played football for FBFC but we lost the game 4-3 which was disappointing. Then I had a few drinks in the pub and watched Bury against Kidderminster, and we won 4-0! That was amazing and now we are up to 4th position in the league after two good victories.

 

Anyway, that leaves me with today. Myself, Laura, Stace and their friend Sarah all met up in town. It was great. Me and Laura found ourselves on our own in a shop once and she asked me for a hug which I thought she wouldn't want... It was great and we got very close hugging, kissing and touching all day whenever we could. So things look like they are working out really well between us now. However, I think Stacey was jealous because she kept frowning afterwards. Ah well, today has been amazing. I really do love Laura.

 

Speak to y'all soon!

 

End of log entry.

[zero-x 0]

Personal log stardate 03090.4

 

I haven't been on here for a while. Been busy I guess, finishing art coursework that I should have done last month. Still it's better late than never. I could have done without the fit I had on Tuesday night though. Ah well.

 

Tuesday was brilliant. Me and Laura kept trying to find quiet places where we could be alone for just a few moments, hiding from Sarah and Stacey so that we could touch and kiss just for a little while. I know it probably sounds childish, but it was exciting and brilliant. :lol:

 

We had an argument last night, and I kinda lost my temper because she was trying to ask me a question that I had to take a long time to answer even though I had to come off the phone pretty quickly. We managed to sort things out though and we now seem to be closer than ever. She appologised for getting mad with me, and I with her, and she told me that she really did love me, which she hadn't done for ages. I love her too and I want to be with her!!

 

I'm off to Blackpool to do some more cycling today, and we may be having a football game tomorrow in the morning, after which I will go and watch a proper Bury match where we will hopefully win out third game on the trot!

 

Life is really good at the moment!

 

End of log entry!

[zero-x 0]

Personal log stardate 04090.4

 

Things are going great, to be honest. Myself and Laura were talking for ages on the phone last night and she keeps phoning me up and we text each other loads and we are hopefully going to meet up soon and she says she wants to hug me and kiss me and hold me very close, so that's great, although her ex boyfriend is still pestering her, which is upsetting her, which in turn is upsetting me. Ah well, things will sort themselves out, and it looks increasingly likely that we will get together properly!

 

This morning I played football for Forever Bury, and we won 8-1 and I scored two goals in the first half which was pretty cool. They were my first two goals of the season as well! Then after the game, we went to the pub and had a few drinks discussing the game, then we all went to watch the proper Bury FC match but we lost 1-0 against Lincoln.

 

Anyway, afterwards, I was driven home by my dad, and then came on the internet, and watched the England match that we drew 2-2 against Austria, whilst all the time texting Laura and occasionally speaking to her on the phone.

 

That's it for now. End of log entry!

[ragingtarg 0]

Ex-boyfriends are annoying.

 

*growls*

 

But you and Laura are cool again!

[zero-x 0]

Personal log. Stardate: today.

 

Yay! I'm back. Not been around here for ages. I've had to go back to school and I've had loads of coursework to do in maths, english, history and biology, so I've had to do all that. The maths ran into 22 pages, which was annoying, and it took me absolute ages to do.

 

Anyway, things with me and Laura are great. We have met up after school together loads and we've got very close hugging and kissing, etc. Things have been really great and we've been getting on great. She's coming up to my house on Wednesday to meet my parents, so I'm really nervous about that eek! She's also said she hates Sam and Mark (the two ex's) and that she loves only me, and things are just going totally great.

 

It's like we are going out together, but we still aren't 'official'. She needs to tell her dad about me, but she can only really do that when he can meet up with me, and that will hopefully be very soon within the next few weeks so that will be great.

 

So basically, everything is great in my life so far, apart from the fact that I was supposed to have 2 mri scans but never did, the results of my latest brain scan were only just normal, I have an ingrowing toe-nail, and Bury FC lose 1-0 today against S(I'm trying to say a bad word but can't)horpe United.

 

Anyway, that's it from me for now. Speak to y'all soon.

 

End log entry.