RikerChick 5 Posted July 7, 2008 We have a funny quotes thread for quotes from other board members, but this one is for funny quotes from anywhere. Keep it clean please. From a friend's blog post with pictures from her wedding... Entering the reception to the Doctor Who theme through an arch of Ewok spears. What, that's not normal? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabri 0 Posted July 9, 2008 "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - Mr. Carlson, WKRP in Cincinnati Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
He Who Shall Not Be Named 2 Posted July 9, 2008 "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - Mr. Carlson, WKRP in Cincinnati Oh yeah, that was a classic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 9, 2008 "I'm always amused by visual representations of Jesus. They are not even remotely culturally accurate. I can't say for sure, since I wasn't around back then, but in my heart of hearts I just know Jesus wasn't a Bee Gee." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaboGirl 7 Posted July 9, 2008 "You can have your Tiger Woods, we’ve got Senator McCain.” Former Army Staff Sergeant David Bellavia - introducing McCain to a crowd "What did he just say?" Dabo Girl Walking to see the national pastime with my little man Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 9, 2008 "It's like that nature show you know, where the snake eats an antelope in one bite and you're thinking impossible, and then it unhinges it's jaw and in it goes! Well giving birth is just like that only the other direction." Kitty - That 70's Show Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted July 10, 2008 Caught in passing: "I don't think we can make it in time but we can make it." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 10, 2008 May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who tries to screw up your day...and may their arms be too short to scratch. A text message to Robert from one of his sales reps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
He Who Shall Not Be Named 2 Posted July 10, 2008 Ha! This quote makes no sense! Camels and fleas don't have arms! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 10, 2008 "Arizona drivers can't drive in the rain. It's due to the amount of sun we get all year, we get a mental block. We all go "AAAGGHHH! What are these water droplets falling from the sky?! My car's not equipped for this!!" - Guy on Sports Radio 910 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 10, 2008 Ok one more. Mark on the dangers of jogging at night as a black man. There was more to it than this but this is the part that made me choke on my Sprite. Well, gee, Mark, why don't you just wear glow in the dark shoes or something?" Because I'm blacker than 11:59, and when I wear glow in the dark shoes people think there's no body attached to them because I'm so black. They probably think to themselves, "Ahhh! Ghost shoes!", and go out of their way to make me window licorice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yillara Skye 1 Posted July 10, 2008 Caught in passing: "I don't think we can make it in time but we can make it." :blink: :blink: you passed me somehow? Haha sounds like something I would say when I am freaked out about time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaboGirl 7 Posted July 10, 2008 “Wrestling is ballet with violence.” Jesse Ventura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 12, 2008 "Hopefully Jesus won't judge you on the size and frequency of your bowel movements" - non_horation (member of a different board) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 15, 2008 Me: What did you do while mommy was gone? Rachael: I fed the yeti corn pops. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrPsychic 1 Posted July 15, 2008 Me: What did you do while mommy was gone? Rachael: I fed the yeti corn pops. Hey, at least they stayed out of trouble Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabri 0 Posted July 16, 2008 In summary, life is too fragile, and I describe that as "sucks ahoy"! - T-Rex, Dinosaur Comics Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 16, 2008 "It's like an intellectual limbo contest, how low can you go" - Gabri Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 17, 2008 "When I mention we are strongly considering home-schooling our children, we are without fail asked, "But what about socialization?" Fortunately, we found a way our kids can receive the same socialization that government schools provide. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will personally corner my son in the bathroom, give him a wedgie and take his lunch money. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my husband will make sure to tease our children for not being in the "in" crowd, taking special care to poke fun of any physical abnormalities. Fridays will be "Fad and Peer Pressure Day." We will all compete to see who has the coolest toys, most expensive clothes and the loudest, fastest and most dangerous car. Every day, my husband and I will adhere to a routine of cursing and swearing in the hallways and mentioning our weekend exploits with alcohol and immorality. If our kids attempt to use the bathroom without permission, we will punish them immediately. And we have asked them to report us to the authorities in the event we mention God or try to bring up morals and values." - Stellaluna Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaboGirl 7 Posted July 18, 2008 "Silence, you mental midget." Dr. Zachary Smith Lost in Space Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 18, 2008 "Nine-tenths of good radio is preparation. The other tenth is just trying not to burp into the microphone." KSLX (classic rock station) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 25, 2008 Other winners included a US-Israeli study into how a finger up the rectum cures hiccups and a report into why woodpeckers do not get headaches. - BBC article Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
He Who Shall Not Be Named 2 Posted July 25, 2008 Where can I get a copy of the US-Israeli study? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaboGirl 7 Posted July 25, 2008 Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. Garrison Keillor Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted July 29, 2008 "Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight!" (credit goes to my sister for finding that one and making me choke on my coffee when I read it) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaboGirl 7 Posted July 29, 2008 "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." Dubya - State of the Union Address (1/28/2003) :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted August 2, 2008 "What do you do, sit on the street corner licking your eyebrows?" - overheard passing some guys at Target. :) I have no idea lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaboGirl 7 Posted August 4, 2008 "Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." - Dave Barry Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rob39874 0 Posted August 4, 2008 This quote had me laughing Sg1 fans may remember it O'neil: Lucy I'm back Teal'c: How do I know your back you juct called me lucy I loved that quote so much Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted August 5, 2008 "Dear Higher Beings, You are aware that Bam-Bam was, in fact, a cartoon character and was in no way meant to be turned into an actual human being, right? So could you tell me how I ended up with the Bam-Bam reincarnate? If you could just get this little problem fixed ASAP, I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much! Love, Me" Anonymous @ http://truemomconfessions.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
