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cptwright

hope your not a lawyer.

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heres a new one from my buddy, hilarious, and clean so i had to share it with all.

 

Subject: Testify

 

 

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been

as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a

defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to

undermine the policeman's credibility...

 

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the

description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called

offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you

have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your

daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do."

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your

life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you

share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex,

and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

 

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best

Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

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;)

 

However, there was something , very recently, where someone was badmouthing attorneys; I think that the joke they were telling in the hallway was " how can you tell if a lawyer is telling a lie?" and the response was " if his mouth is open". They got into quite a lot of trouble for that one as they kept going on about it and it was a federal building.

 

There are good and bad in every profession; though the fact that the lawyers have so much potential to exercise their abilities, legally, in altering people's lives/finances/freedom; they are feared. It is understandable.

 

I knew one once; was married to one once. There were the good and the bad that I met through him.

 

 

Heron

Edited by Heron

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;)

 

However, there was something , very recently, where someone was badmouthing attorneys; I think that the joke they were telling in the hallway was " how can you tell if a lawyer is telling a lie?" and the response was " if his mouth is open". They got into quite a lot of trouble for that one as they kept going on about it and it was a federal building.

 

There are good and bad in every profession; though the fact that the lawyers have so much potential to exercise their abilities, legally, in altering people's lives/finances/freedom; they are feared. It is understandable.

 

I knew one once; was married to one once. There were the good and the bad that I met through him.

 

 

Heron

296469[/snapback]

 

I think there were loud and disorderly and creating a scene in the courthouse - they belonged to a group that's purpose was to create scenes in public as a form of protest. (from what I remember of reading about it)

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