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cptwright

had to share

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my buddy just sent me this, i thought it was hilarious. i remember quite a few of the refered to chain letters. how many do you remember? :(

 

A QUICK THANKS

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time

and trouble to send me

your damn chain letters over the past two years.

Thank you for making me

feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

 

Because of your concern...

 

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove

toilet stains.

 

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the

people who make these

products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God"

on their cans.

 

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I

will get sick from the rat

feces and urine.

 

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because

it causes cancer.

 

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones

because I could get pricked

with a needle infected with AIDS.

 

I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even

though I smell like a wet dog

on a hot day.

 

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone

will drug me with a perfume

sample and rob me.

 

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex

since they are actually Al

Qaida in disguise.

 

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and

don't support our

American troops.

 

I no longer answer the phone because someone will

ask me to dial a stupid

number for which I will get the phone bill from hell

with calls to Jamaica,

Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

 

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the

estrogens they contain will

turn me gay.

 

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are

actually horrible mutant

freaks with no eyes or feathers.

 

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will

take my kidneys and

leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

 

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will

change once I receive my free

replacement pair from Nike.

 

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus

since I now have their

recipe.

 

I no longer worry about my soul because I have

363,214 angels looking out

for me.

 

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a

sick girl who is about

to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

 

I no longer have any money at all, but that will

change once I receive the

$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for

participating in their

special e-mail program.

 

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for

looking out for me! I

will now return the favor.

 

If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200

people in the next 60

seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on

your head at 5:00 pm

tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because

it actually happened to a

friend of a friend of a friend

 

Best Wishes,

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That's hilarious! :( Aren't all thore concerned people wonderful? B)

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If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200

people in the next 60

seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on

your head at 5:00 pm

tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because

it actually happened to a

friend of a friend of a friend

This really happen to me. This was my first year in the Navy. About 0730 after I got out of quarters I got hit by bird by his/her gift. I was very happy it didn't stain my jacket. I had to wash it 5 times to get smell out of it. :(

Edited by Odie

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Now I'm really glad I automatically delete any e-mail I get from someone I don't know. If I didn't, I'd probably have no use for my girl for the rest of my life!

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If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200

people in the next 60

seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on

your head at 5:00 pm

tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because

it actually happened to a

friend of a friend of a friend

This really happen to me. This was my first year in the Navy. About 0730 after I got out of quarters I got hit by bird by his/her gift. I was very happy it didn't stain my jacket. I had to wash it 5 times to get smell out of it. :laugh:

292760[/snapback]

 

B) Okay, we got it. Odie is actually the friend of a friend of a friend! Now we know who it happened to. I how you recovered from the bird bombing Odie, it happens to the best people sometimes. :(

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