~~ EDEN ~~ in Fan Fiction Posted November 25, 2004 · Edited November 25, 2004 by fenriz275 When Abe undid the bolt to the outbuilding the elves came running out. nik grabbed the two of them by the collar. "Not so fast you little miscreants. We have some work for you two." He said. "Oh yeah? After spending the night locked up with a Big Mac on legs why should we help you?" The first elf replied. "Because if you don't you don't get any supper. No work, no food." Abe replied. "Alright. Alright." The second elf relented. nik explained to them about the new table and chairs. "Maple. We could make a nice table out of maple." The second elf suggested. "Do they have any maple?" The first countered. "Um...I don't know." The second replied. "Then why don't you find out?" The first said. Abe led them to a storage building. Climbing over the piles of wood the two elves weighed the options. "Hmm...I don't see any maple. There is some nice cherry in here." The second said. "Cherry? What's with you and your obsession with cherry. Forget that, There's some oak over here. That's what we're going to use." The first elf decided. "Oak? Oak sucks. We're going to build it from cherry." The second said. "Look here you little smarta**. I'm the Sub - Head Supervisory Elf Third Class. I'm in charge here and I say it's going to be oak." The first elf said putting his hands on his hips. "We're not at the North pole now you moron, and I was building tables while you were still shoveling up reindeer turds so stop acting like you know what you're talking about. Besides everyone knows the only reason you got promoted was because you had those Polaroids of the fatman getting his egg nogged by the Toothfairy." The second elf replied. "You little b*****d! That's a lie!" The first elf launched himself at the second. The collapsed in a heap of little arms and legs. Rolling around on the ground, they hit and kicked and bit and swore at each other. Finally Abe threw a bucket of water on them and pulled them apart. Sputtering and swearing they still tried to swing at each other.