[Theunicornhunter]

How many VULCANS does it take to change a light bulb ? Approximately One Point Zero Zero Zero Zero .......

How many BAJORANS does it take to change a light bulb ? The filthy Cardassians tok our light bulb !

How many KLINGONS does it take to change a light bulb ? Burned out light bulbs have NO honor. And a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark !

How many TRILLS does it take to change a light bulb ? Both of them.

How many BORG does it take to change a light bulb ? Light bulbs are irrelevant. Changing them is futile.

How many BETAZIODS does it take to change a light bulb ? I sense it has already changed.

How many ROMULANS does it take to change a light bulb ? We have been gone for a while, but we have returned to change it.

How many FEDERATION SHUTTLE PILOTS does it take to change a light bulb ? Ooooops ! I dropped it !

How many Q's does it take to change a light bulb ? Here, now, Wouldn't you rather have this Super-Nova ?

How many ODO's does it take to change a light bulb ? I will change IN TO the light bulb.

How many TRIBBLES does it take to change a light bulb ? 1,561,772 .......uhh,62....,ummm,63......64......

How many FERENGI does it take to change a lightbulb? Two: one to do it and the other to sell the broken one to an unsuspecting customer.

How many BETAZOIDS does it take to change a lightbulb? Two: one to do it and the other to moan "darkness, I sense darkness!"

How many ROMULANS does it take to change a light bulb? 2, one to change it and one to kill the other and take the credit.

How many BETAZOIDS does it take to change a light bulb? No, no. no. The light bulb has to _want_ to change first.

How many FIRST OFFICERS does it take to change a light bulb? Normally one, but if that is Riker it then it takes 2, Riker to pose while the other changes the light bulb.

How many FENENGI does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw it in and another to sell tickets to watch.

How many DOCTOR McCOYS does it take to change a lightbulb? "G-dd-mit, Jim; I'm a DOCTOR, not an electrician!"

How many TREKKERS does it take to change a light bulb ? Okay, so ,y'know, like, in that episode where Spock gets attacked by those vomit looking things, and, like, he starts doing weird stuff, like, he takes over the ship and it gets Kirk really mad, so they find out that they can use this super-bright light, but it was bogus, 'cause McCoy used the wrong kind of light, and it makes Spock blind ,so, like......what kind of light bulb are you talking about ??

[Yillara Skye]

LOL!!

[TrekkieMage]

LOL!

[Riaan]

FUNNY !!!
I'm still laughing !!!

[Lessa_Soong]

That was SOOO funny!

[Goose]

Stardate:213542.2

That was great

[Data]

How many DOCTOR McCOYS does it take to change a lightbulb? "G-dd-mit, Jim; I'm a DOCTOR, not an electrician!"



I cannot believe that I turned out to have a McCoy personality. An Android with emotions, HA

[dsbs]

OMG, I love this one:
How many TREKKERS does it take to change a light bulb ? Okay, so ,y'know, like, in that episode where Spock gets attacked by those vomit looking things, and, like, he starts doing weird stuff, like, he takes over the ship and it gets Kirk really mad, so they find out that they can use this super-bright light, but it was bogus, 'cause McCoy used the wrong kind of light, and it makes Spock blind ,so, like......what kind of light bulb are you talking about ??

Also, here's some more:

HOW THEY CHANGE THE LIGHTBULBS ON TNG:

Beverly says, "Jean-Luc, there's something I've been meaning to tell you....."

A bulb suddenly fizzles out on the bridge.

Riker asks what the hell happened.

Troi says, "Captain, I sense - darkness".

Data does a complete sweep of the ship, and informs Picard that as well as the light bulb on the bridge, 33 other light bulbs on decks 5-29 have gone out, and some fluorescent tubes in Ten-Forward are about to blow.

Geordi reports from engineering that the Enterprise's supply of light bulbs have mysteriously disappeared. (It later transpires that the bulbs were taken by the Organians, who return them, apologizing for inconveninecing the crew - "It's just that we mistook them for our young".

Worf recommends they attack at once.

Picard eases everybody's minds with a charming story about the early life of Thomas Edison and how his example should be looked upon as inspiration for Starfleet officers.

With Barclay's help, Geordi is able to replicate just enough light bulbs to fill their needs. He also assigns a number of engineers to go throughout the ship and install them.

Wesley helps by going up on a ladder and cleaning the contact points with a pencil eraser. Unfortunately he slips off the ladder and breaks his leg.

Picard notes with delight the improved view on the bridge. He has the Enterprise set course for AlphaBeta 5, and says "Engage".


Well, we've had the TOS and TNG procedures, now I guess it's time we learned:

HOW THEY CHANGE THE LIGHT BULBS ON DEEP SPACE NINE

One of the bulbs suddenly goes out in Ops.

Sisko testily asks what is going on.

O'Brien says that it's the light bulbs - and that oddly a large number of them have been failing with regularity lately.

Kira suggests that it might be a Cardassian plot to de-moralize the Federation to leave the station.

Sisko kindly - but firmly - asks that the bulbs be replaced. As he goes into his office, we see the lights go out suddenly.

Odo immediately launches a station-wide investigation - starting with Quark. (He remembers some Sacred Rule of Acquisition - number unknown - which states "if an opportunity for profit does not currently exist, it is entirely justifiable to invent one").

O'Brien reports from Engineering that there doesn't seem to be any spare light bulbs available on the station - the Cardassians must have taken every spare with them when they left. Worse yet, they're of some weird proprietary design which uses a 223-pin connector and a volatile form of gas which can't be readily replicated.

Dax offers to help O'Brien in trying to jury-rig some new light bulbs - she has some experience, coming from an earlier incarnation, "Bubba" Dax, free-lance Trill electrician, some 200 years ago.

At lunch, Bashir mentions to Garak about the problems the station's been having with the light bulbs. Garak, smiling, says he's sure that the problem can be readily solved.

A bulb in Quark's Bar suddenly goes out. Morn belches and passes out.

Contacted by Sisko, Gul Dukat expresses his condolences over the problems with the light bulbs, but unfortunately his hands are tied regarding getting new light bulbs to the station, as all light bulbs manufactured on Cardassia are immediately earmarked for the Obsidian Order - "and as you know, Commander, light bulbs are an important tool we use in the interrogation process."

Quark mentions that there just MIGHT be a way for him to procure some light bulbs - but he can't promise just WHEN he can get them. However, if the Feds could see to it that he gets his palm greased with enough latinum he could....Kira punches him so hard it
leaves a Ferengi-shaped hole in the wall.

Kai Winn contacts the station and ominously states that any attempt to make new light bulbs (which she would consider as mocking the sacredness of the appearance of the "gods" in the wormhole) would be considered blasphemous by the Bajorans - and an act of war.

Garak suddenly appears on the bridge - with a box of light bulbs! Seems he was cleaning out the storeroom in his shop - trying to find the source of some weird sound - and found it hidden behind a box full of zippers. "Just doing my civic duty for my hosts", he says. Bashir flashes him a quick "SURE you are!" look.

Quark berates Rom for making noises while they were back in Garak's storeroom. "You know I always like to hum when I work!" Rom remonstrates.

Odo files his report - turns out it WASN'T the light bulbs burning out. He had caught Jake and Nog red-handed, playing with the circuit breakers, while disguised as the step-stool they used to reach the box.


AND

Q - how many Tamarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A - Sylvania, when the lamp failed.

[Æ]

LMBO!