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funny convention tips

#1 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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  Posted 04 August 2005 - 10:17 PM

i came up with some funny convention tips. that's for if you're going to one. please don't take them seriously. i did them for fun. enjoy.
tm :laugh:

Wait till the last minute. run around making arrangements. don't
reserve a ticket. just go! you might be able to get in. if not there
is next year. being prepared kills the whole experience.

don't take any cash. you don't need it. just beg for what you need.
someone out there will probably feel sorry for you and might help you
out.

to get the best deal on that sought after item. go one step beyond
speaking with the dealer. treat them to a night on the town. who know
you might make a new friend or have a nice one night stand.

don't pack any film,cameras, or memory cards. what do you need
pictures for. there are some pictures you might not want to remember.
you know someone will put the pictures up on the internet. don't
spend the big bucks on the photo op. just use photoshop or some other
program and cut and paste your head on someone else's body and call
it your own.

why pay the high price for an autograph, when you can simply go
onto an internet auction and buy it for much less. if might be a fake
but it's a risk you'll have to take.

if you're looking for a costume for the contest. dress as the
enterprise it doesn't matter which enterprise. just be the
enterprise. why dress like a klingon or vulcan, be unique. if not
the enterprise how about a borg cube? you just need a cardboard box
and paint. it's a great last minute costume.

don't eat. you might miss that speaker you wanted to see. just chew
gum until the convention ends for the day. if there is a break eat
then. you have to eat something, you don't want to pass out during a
presentation.

if you want to give a gift to your favorite speaker. give yourself.
recycle the borg cube box, add a bow, and your done. if you don't
want to give yourself, give them some complete stranger you find off
the street. just make sure they don't smell. nothing ruins the moment
like a smelly gift unless it's perfume or something.

finally to optimize your time, follow the schedule. unless you want
to see an empty room full of chairs and a microphone. go to see what
you really want. don't try to have fun. it ruins the whole
experience. don't go with high expectations, your hopes will get
dashed in an instant.

This post has been edited by stvoyagerfan21: 04 August 2005 - 10:18 PM


#2 User is offline   BakulaBabe 

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Posted 05 August 2005 - 03:15 AM

The idea of not eating is actually a good one! You might want to add "don't go to the bathroom", because the breaks aren't long enough to do anything but stand up and stretch. I know - I've been to conventions. :laugh: :bow:
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#3 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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  Posted 05 August 2005 - 09:26 PM

i will have to do that. i've also thought of a few others to add. i had fun making these tips. i'm thinking of expanding them more. i'm also working on a few other funny things.

tm :yawn:

#4 User is offline   LordOfTheBorg 

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Posted 05 August 2005 - 10:06 PM

:yawn: "be the enterprise or the borg cube" ROFL! If i ever go to a con, i'm gonna do that! :lol:

"Give yourself, or, give a person off the street" :lol: !!!!! :yawn: haha
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#5 User is offline   MrPsychic 

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Posted 05 August 2005 - 11:01 PM

::puts on a black cardboard box and starts running around like a little kid:: look at me! I'm the Borg!!

::runs into a wall:: ow...walls are hard and irrelevant...
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#6 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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  Posted 09 August 2005 - 10:01 PM

here are a few more tips.i will post the more another time. enjoy.
tm :lol:

Using the restroom don't even think about it. i have two words adult diaper for those situations where you can't hold it. i highly recommend using a cup or bottle but there are some consequences you might not want. for example someone could accidentally spill it or worse drink it. you don't want to be in a room that smells like urine. now for that other body function i'll just call second in command you should definitely use the restroom. that's one not to be left in a diaper,cup or bottle. it would most likely stink up the place. especially if you're not wearing a diaper.

another big no no is farting also know passing gas, the big stink,cutting the cheese, venting the exhaust, dude you didn't. no one likes to smell it. you don't want the speaker to pass out, do you? if someone did the pass gas, make sure you're not the first one to comment because as the saying goes " you smelt, it you dealt it." even if you didn't' do it you don't want the blame for someone else's embarrassment and the emergency room bill for the speaker, if they passed out. you don't want to be banned for life from conventions. unless you want to spend tons of money on plastic surgery and a name change.

if you did splurge on that autograph ticket and your standing in line. get to know the people around you and eventually act out your favorite scene from an episode or movie. it's a great way to kill time plus it helps to lighten the mood in the room. but remember not to use sharp objects for weapons. you don't want you or someone else to go the emergency room with a bat'leth wound to the head do you?

another embarrassing situation that may arise is if you comment to a celebrity about how you liked them in a certain movie or tv show that they were in. when in reality they weren't and it was someone else. some may take it the wrong way and meet you in the parking lot after the convention for a bit of a smackdown. if this occurs make sure someone is taking pictures and they end up on the internet with the headline i had my butt kicked by " celeb". be proud of that accomplishment. not many people can say they had their butt kicked by a celebrity. plus it makes sure you watch your words and do your research next time.

if you get the photo opp ticket, try not to be bland and do the standard pose. get the celebrity to do a fun pose with you. if they say no and you persist you could end up like the previous tip.

#7 User is offline   sea trooper 

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Posted 28 August 2005 - 01:57 AM

I love the costume ideas B)

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#8 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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  Posted 28 February 2006 - 01:39 PM

update to the tips in the costume section:

if you're going to say a stargate convention. don't be sg1 or the team from atlantis be the gate, be the ramp that leads to the gate, heck why not the blast doors. or if you're desperate go as the guy that says the whole chevron locked speech.

or if it's a general sci fi convention that covers many shows and movies do a combo thing be half enterprise half the gate etc. you could have quite the interesting comboinations going. but becareful to make sure you can breath through your creation you don't want to end up passed out on the floor of the dealer's room because you didn't put in air holes. you never know who may kick you when your down?

NEW TIP:

one last tip. don't go to a star trek or stargate convention with a light saber. some trekkies/trekkers;gate fans might take offense and meet you in the parking lot possibly with a few of the stars.it could be quite the mob scene. you really don't want to be the joke that made the eleven o'clock news that got their butt kicked by a bunch of outraged fans and stars. do you? you never know the video if any could end up on the internet. you could become a living legend for all the wrong reasons, do you want that?

#9 User is offline   Kor37 

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Posted 28 February 2006 - 06:45 PM

Quote

some trekkies/trekkers;gate fans might take offense and meet you in the parking lot


No offense but most of the trek fans I've seen at cons seem WAY too meek to meet anyone in the parking lot..... :borg2:
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#10 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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  Posted 28 February 2006 - 11:16 PM

you never know it could happen. but yes probably not. but hey i enjoy coming up with the funny stuff.

tm

#11 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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  Posted 05 March 2006 - 09:33 PM

here are few more new ones:

trying to get certan body parts, you know which ones i'm talking about. is not really a good idea. also it's not very sanitary either. some people would not want to see them. me included. i'm there to see stars not someone's derriere getting signed or at least attempting to get it signed.the 8x10s that are provided or purchased should suffice and are more sanitary. they are also easier to display in the long run than some body parts. who would want their picture signed with a sharpie that has been on who knows what body part? i know i wouldn't like that at all. especially if it smells like that body part.

a convention is a great place to meet someone. just go about it the right way. for example guys don't want up to a girl or whomever you are trying to meet and say " hey wanna check out my phaser!" or " wanna see my light saber?"or "i've got my phaser set on stun, because you are so stunning" not cool. you likely will get slapped and or taken off the premises by security if any are around. flirting is okay as long as it's done appropriately. one way is if you see the someone you want to meet actually holding a phaser and lightsaber and commenting like where'd you get that? is that the one that comes with..? etc. you get the picture.

if you buy that great poster you've been wanting or the 8x10 and you aren't staying at the hotel that is close to or where the event is held and it's raining. don't worry about protecting them. a little rain won't hurt. might even clean things up a bit. it'll also double up as great protection from the rain if you forgot an umbrella or rain jacket or something. don't worry it'll dry out eventually. might not be in the greatest shape but i'll dry out eventually.

#12 User is offline   stvoyagerfan 

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Posted 18 December 2007 - 10:28 AM

i almost forgot about these. i think i'm going to try and come up with a few more especially now with the star trek tour and stuff.

maybe even a little tweaking of a few.

hard to believe almost two years since i posted these. wow!

This post has been edited by stvoyagerfan21: 18 December 2007 - 10:28 AM


#13 User is offline   SpinerFan 

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Posted 18 December 2007 - 01:51 PM

These are hilarious!

#14 User is offline   oldfan1 

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Posted 18 December 2007 - 11:36 PM

As someone that has been to a lot of conventions over the years and helped run a lot I have a few more tips to add.

If you go to a con and the guest happens to be Leonard Nimoy wear an "I Grok Spock" t-shirt, rubber vulcan ears and a set of deelyboppers (they are a plastic hair band with springs with glitter covered balls on the ends)

Get drunk and try to grope the female guests when they pose with you for a picture.

For the costume contest make a costume out of garbage bags and act very insulted when you don't win.

Throw a room party and invite people and don't tell them that it is an orgy.

At the above mentioned room party have the music so loud that hotel security shows up to quiet it down and answer the door in the buff.

When you check into the hotel have several cases of beer at the check in along with your baggage.

When you participate in the costume contest remember that the more skin you show the better your score will be especially if you weigh 300lbs.

I have seen every one of these over the years at conventions except the first one, I did hear about it though. I know most of these aren't funny but unfortunately have happened.
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#15 User is offline   Kor37 

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Posted 19 December 2007 - 05:40 AM

I can identify with most of these. I still occassionaly have nightmares from seeing morbidly obese women dress up in costumes that leave very little to the imagination........ :lol:
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#16 User is offline   Dabo Queen 

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Posted 14 January 2008 - 03:47 PM

View PostKor Kringle, on Dec 19 2007, 03:40 AM, said:

I can identify with most of these. I still occassionaly have nightmares from seeing morbidly obese women dress up in costumes that leave very little to the imagination........ :clap:



Well crap...there goes my Dabo girl costume idea... :laugh:


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