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1. The Elephant Whisperer

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The Elephant Whisperer

 

A carnival, which included a huckster with an elephant, was travelling through a small town. The huckster was offering people $100 if they could make the elephant nod its head up and down. Many people tried, but no one was successful. Finally, a small quiet individual appeared and timidly asked if he could try.

 

He promptly walked around the elephant and gave it a good swift kick in the backside. The elephant was so surprised, it jerked its head up and down. The little man pocketed his $100 and walked away.

 

The following year, the same carnival returned, with the same huckster and the same elephant. The huckster had decided to make sure he wouldn't lose any more money in this town, so he offered $500 to anyone who could make the elephant nod its head up and down, then shake it from side to side.

 

Again, many people tried. They pulled the elephant's ears, pulled its tail, tickeled it, etc., but no one was successful. Finally, the same little man appeared and asked if he could try. The huckster was so sure the deed was impossible that he readily agreed.

 

The little man walked around to the front of the elephant and looked it in the eye.

 

"Do you remember me?" he asked. The elephant vigorously nodded its head up and down.

 

"Do you want me to do that again?" he asked. The elephant quickly shook its head from side to side.

 

The little man pocketed his $500 and walked away, smiling.

 

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I know I know, not the best. So your trip into this thread was not a total waste here's one more...

 

The Doberman

 

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

 

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir." "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the world kind of dog do you have?" "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy." "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?" "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

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I liked the first one, but the second one was too much - can't stand animals dieing is all (how the heck do you spell that word??)

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