Plane Humor

[Luvin1stdegree 0]

To all the frequent flyers....

 

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys

to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that

need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then

respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken,

and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be

said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

 

 

 

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by

Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way,

Qantas is the only major airline that

has never had an accident.

 

Problem: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

 

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on

something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

[Goose 0]

Stardate:213726.9

 

 

 

LOL those are so good i damn near fell out of the chair laughing!! B)

[LadyNarana 0]

Ohmigosh, those are hilarious! B)

 

I'm flying to NC in the morning - and I'll undoubtedly be thinking of these - while on another airline, unfortunately. B)

[trekzone 0]

B) i fell out of my chair.

 

btw my dads an air traffic controller, ill be sure to pass it on!

[trekzone 0]

trekzone's dad posting:

 

B)

[Riaan 0]

Those are hiliarous! :blink:

No wonder I don't fly anymore!

[Luvin1stdegree 0]

I'm glad everyone is enjoying these. The first time I read them I was laughing so hard I was crying. At first I tried to pick out a favorite but I just can't choose.

[A l t e r E g o 9]

There are some great ones to choose from, here's a couple I keep going back to...

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

Am I laughing or crying? :blink:

 

[Lubak10 0]

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on

something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

These two are my favorites! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[barry 0]

They were great

[dsbs 0]

oh dear, can't stop laughing!!

[Theunicornhunter 2]

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

Hard to choose a favorite they're all so good. Thanks for posting.