Marvin the Paranoid Android

[DrWho42 13]

And last, but certainly not least, the radio show gave way to four singles. The singles were released as “Marvin The Paranoid Android” in the early 1980s. Just as in the radio show, Marvin was voiced by Stephen Moore. Douglas Adams was listed as a 'Consultant' on the singles. “Marvin, I Love You” is available on two Dr. Demento compilations, but the other three were a little bit harder to find. It took me nearly fifteen years to track down all four, but now that I have, here they are:

 

Marvin (MP3, 2.58 Mb)

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Marvin:

 

    • I'm just a robot and I know my place

      A metal servant to the human race

      I work my can off trying to satisfy

      I know they'll disconnect me by and by

 

Chorus (wailing female vocal):

 

    • Marvin

      Marvin

      Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

Marvin:

 

    • Chip on my shoulder made of silicon

      My printed circuits like a lexicon

      Ten billion logic functions, maybe more

      They make me pick the paper off the floor

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin

      Marvin

      Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

      Aaaaaahhhhhhh

 

Marvin:

 

    • Solitary solenoid

      Terminally paranoid

      Marvin

 

      Know what really makes me mad?

      They clean me with a brillo pad.

      A carwash wouldn't be so bad.

      Life, don't talk to me about life!

 

      I'm so depressed I could expectorate

      My moving parts are in a solid state

      I want to rust in peace, switch off and lie

      In that great junkyard in the sky

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin

      Marvin

      Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

      Aaaaaahhhhhhhh

 

Marvin:

 

    • Solitary solenoid

      Terminally paranoid

      Marvin

      Nothing left to be enjoyed

      Every diode rheumatoid

      Marvin

      Outer alloy, inner void

      Marvin

      Happiness has been destroyed.

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin

      Marvin

      Marvin

      Marvin

      Marvin [fade]

Metal Man (MP3, 2.93 Mb)

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Radio message:

 

    • Er, Roger, your ship is out of control. Robot override imperative, repeat imperative, suggest you assign control to Marvin.

 

Female vocal:

 

    • Metal man

      (Metal man)

 

Captain:

 

    • This is your Captain calling

 

Female vocal:

 

    • Metal man

      (Metal man)

 

Captain:

 

    • The temperature's falling...

 

Female vocal:

 

    • Metal man

      (Metal man)

 

Captain:

 

    • Why is it that I cannot read you?

 

Female vocal:

 

    • Metal man

      (Metal man)

      [this continues for much of the song]

 

Captain:

 

    • Listen man, I really need you

      Please answer!

      OK man, here's the plan

      You make it hard to love you

      Raise your hand, metal hand, to the controls, the control panel above you,

      I can't move, I'm trapped here, dammit, Marvin! Marvin! Please acknowledge!

      Marvin!

      Marvin, this is your captain, please acknowledge!

      Well, just, just nod your head if you can hear me!

      Make it soon old pal..

      My vision is cloudy...

      ...Blurry..

      And and my speech, my my speech is slurring

      Please help me!

 

Marvin:

 

    • Marvin here

      Never fear

      All systems clear

      Don't lose your cool, captain

      You know this is only the second time in thirty million years that I've had anything even remotely challenging enough to absorb my massive brain for more than two minutes.

      You know, old skipper, these black holes are really bad news to hitchhike in.

 

Captain:

 

    • Oh, Marvin, I was only your biggest fan, you old son of a (I'm trying to say a bad word but can't)!

 

Marvin:

 

    • I thought you'd like that.

 

Captain:

 

    • What the hell was going wrong, do you know Marvin?

 

Marvin:

 

    • Well, it doesn't take me long to get nothing done.

 

Captain:

 

    • (incoherent celebration)

 

Marvin:

 

    • Look at her go

 

Captain:

 

    • You've got to hand it to that robot

 

Marvin:

 

    • It's a good thing you did hand it to me, isn't it?

 

Captain:

 

    • OK, OK Marvin... Just try to edge my spacesuit a bit nearer to me, would you buddy?

 

Marvin:

 

    • This is some ship isn't it, my captain?

 

Crew:

 

    • (cheers & general my-life-has-been-saved type happiness)

 

Marvin:

 

    • Alright crew, let's settle down, shall we? And get on with the business of flying a spaceship...

Reasons To Be Miserable (MP3, 2.45 Mb)

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'Rap':

 

    • Reasons to be miserable give my brain a pain.

      Very little turns me on, Marvin is my name.

      I'm a robot, it's my lot, a robot full of cares,

      I'd feel a little better if they broke me up for spares.

      Everything I say or do I find the world condemning—

      If I had my time again, I'd rather be a lemming.

 

Moaned:

 

    • I'm just a menial robot

      Ohhhh well

 

Angry chorus:

 

    • They drive me crazy with their

      “Marvin, close the door!”

      Well isn't it enough to make me

      Tidy up the floor

      You know it spoils a robot's day...

      Marvin, when you've finished you can put yourself away.

 

Moaned:

 

    • I'm going to flip my lid.

      They treat me like a kid.

 

'Rap':

 

    • Robot naughty, robot bad,

      Robot happy, robot sad,

      “Who's a clever robot lad?”

      It would drive a human mad

 

'Chant':

 

    • Robots are inhuman

      Robots are inhuman

      Human, robots are in-

      human, robots are in

 

Moaned:

 

    • I get no satisfaction

      I'm bored

 

Angry chorus:

 

    • Can't bear these humans when they

      Make me do their work

      I'd rather be a calculator

      Treat me like a jerk

      Ohohoh, that'll be the day.

 

    • Pat me on the head

      I'd rather be a percolator

      It'd be no trouble

      Just to bubble life away

 

Moaned:

 

    • Don't get a holiday

      Or friends to stay

 

      How can a robot think

      With his elbows in the sink?

 

Sarcastic:

 

    • Marvin, peel a grape

 

Female vocal:

 

    • (Marvin)

 

Moaned:

 

    • Is there no escape?

 

Female vocal:

 

    • (Marvin)

 

More sarcastic:

 

    • Marvin, dig a hole

 

Female vocal:

 

    • (Marvin)

 

Even more sarcastic:

 

    • Play some rock and roll

 

Female vocal:

 

    • (Marvin)

 

Guitar-screamy sort of largely instrumental break, during which Marvin can be heard commenting, just when you thought he couldn't get more sarcastic:

 

    • Yeah.

      Dig it.

 

Back to the spoken bile:

 

    • I really hate it when they

      Underload my brain

      Washing up the dirty dishes

      Diodes give me pain

      Walking dogs and feeding fishes

      Driving me insane

      Just a metal slave is what a robot is

      And always

      Will remain.

Marvin, I Love You (MP3, 4.41 Mb)

Click For Spoiler

Marvin:

 

    • Long ago, in another galaxy, there lived a gloomy robot— his name was Marvin. He was getting old and a bit rusty and nobody liked him. One day, being very bored, he thought it would a good idea to tidy up all his old programmes in his dusty old data bank. There were tapes in there he hadn't played for years; checking them through, he accidentally pushed a wrong button and suddenly he heard:

 

Chorus (female vocal):

 

    • Marvin, I love you

      Marvin, I love you

 

Marvin:

 

    • Well, he was sure he hadn't heard that ever before, he wasn't even sure he'd heard it that time because being a bored and gloomy robot he hadn't really been listening. What was worse, he couldn't remember what button he'd accidentally pressed. Anyway, he tried a few switches at random and suddenly:

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin, I love you

      Marvin, I love you

      Remember, I'm programmed for you

      I know we're worlds apart

      Still you could break my heart

      Loving you is all I can do

 

Marvin:

 

    • Well, he heard it that time alright, no doubt about it— who was singing these strange words? Was it another robot or some strange life form from the distant past when he was a young robot and people still made the occasional attempt to like him? He couldn't make it out at all, so he pushed a few buttons and:

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin, I love you. Marvin, I love you

 

Marvin:

 

    • That was it!

 

Wistful female vocal, spoken:

 

    • I tried to contact Marvin

      I don't know why but he never replied

      Perhaps one day he'll answer

      'Til then, I guess, I'll keep on trying

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin, I love you

      Marvin, I love you

      Remember, I'm programmed for you

 

Marvin:

 

    • “Does not compute”, he thought, miserably, but at least he knew where to find it in his data bank. From then on, he could play it whenever he wanted, think about what he'd missed, and live miserably ever after.

 

Chorus:

 

    • Marvin, I love you

      Marvin, I love you

      Remember, I'm programmed for you

      I know we're worlds apart

      But still you can break my heart

      Loving you is all I can do

 

      Marvin, I love you

      Marvin, I love you (sustain)

Edited May 8, 2005 by DrWho42

[BakulaBabe 2]

Great songs! The first one is my favorite.

[Tina 0]

Excuse me

 

ahem

 

ALAN RICKMAN RULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS

 

Sorry go about your business

[LoveMalePecs1 0]

Interesting Songs DrWho42 didn't even know they had a record out in the 80's just knew the mini-series had Marvin the Paranoid Android in it voiced by ("Stephen Moore")and Marvin was a Big Android this version he's little voiced by Alan Rickman still liked all the 4 songs good job finding them.

 

B) B)