FDA Approves Sales of Prescription Placebo

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

WASHINGTON, DC- After more than four decades of

testing in tandem with other drugs, placebo gained approval

for prescription use from the Food and Drug Administration

Monday.

 

"For years, scientists have been aware of the effectiveness

of placebo in treating a surprisingly wide range of

conditions," said Dr. Jonathan Bergen of the FDA's Center for

Drug Evaluation and Research. "It was time to provide doctors

with this often highly effective option."

 

In its most common form, placebo is a white, crystalline

substance of a sandy consistency, obtained from the

evaporated juice of the Saccharum officinarum plant. The FDA

has approved placebo in doses ranging from 1 to 40,000

milligrams.

 

The long-awaited approval will allow pharmaceutical companies

to market placebo in pill and liquid form. Eleven major drug

companies have developed placebo tablets, the first of which,

AstraZeneca's Sucrosa, hits shelves Sept. 24.

 

"We couldn't be more thrilled to finally get this wonder drug

out of the labs and into consumers' medicine cabinets," said

Tami Erickson, a spokeswoman for AstraZeneca. "Studies show

placebo to be effective in the treatment of many ailments and

disorders, ranging from lower-back pain to erectile

dysfunction to nausea."

 

Pain-sufferers like Margerite Kohler, who participated in a

Sucrosa study in March, welcomed the FDA's approval.

 

"For years, I battled with strange headaches that surfaced

during times of stress," Kohler said. "Doctors repeatedly

turned me away empty-handed, or suggested that I try an over-

the-counter pain reliever-as if that would be strong enough.

Finally, I heard about Sucrosa. They said, 'This will work,'

and it worked. The headaches are gone." Researchers diagnosed

Kohler with Random Occasional Nonspecific Pain and Discomfort

Disorder (RONPDD), a minor but surprisingly pervasive medical

condition that strikes otherwise healthy adults.

 

RONPDD is only one of many disorders for which placebo has

proven effective, Bergen said.

 

"Placebo has been successful in the treatment of everything

from lower-back pain to erectile dysfunction to nausea,"

Bergen said. "That's the beauty, and the mystery, of placebo.

It's all-purpose. Think of it like aspirin, but without any

of the analgesic properties."

 

The FDA is expected to approve the drug for a wide range of

mood disorders later this year. According to Bergen, initial

research has shown placebo to be effective in the treatment

of bipolar disorder, depression, dysthymia, panic disorder,

post traumatic stress disorder, seasonal affective disorder,

and stress.

 

As industry analysts predict the drug's sales will top $25

billion in the first year, the approval of placebo is

expected to unleash one of the pharmaceutical industry's

biggest marketing battles to date.

 

GlaxoSmithKline expects to have two versions of placebo on

the shelves in late December. One, a 40-milligram pill called

Appeasor, will be marketed to patients 55 and over, while the

other, Inertra, designed for middle-aged women, is a liquid

that comes in a 355-milliliter can, and is cola-flavored. Eli

Lilly plans a $3 million marketing campaign for its 400-

milligram tablet, Pacifex.

 

"All placebos are not the same," Eli Lilly spokesman Giles

French said. "Pacifex is the only placebo that's green and

shaped like a triangle. Pacifex: A doctor gave it to you."

Despite such ringing endorsements, some members of the

medical community have spoken out against placebo's approval,

saying that the drug's wide range of side effects is a cause

for concern.

 

"Yes, placebo has benefits, but studies link it to a hundred

different side effects, from lower-back pain to erectile

dysfunction to nausea," drug researcher Patrick Wheeler

said. "Placebo wreaked havoc all over the body, with no rhyme

or reason. Basically, whichever side effects were included on

the questionnaire, we found in research subjects."

 

Added Wheeler: "We must not introduce placebo to the public

until we pinpoint exactly how and why it works. The drug

never should have advanced beyond the stage of animal

testing, which, for some reason, was totally ineffective in

determining its effectiveness." In spite of the confusing

data, drug makers say placebo is safe.

 

"The only side effect consistent in all test subjects was a

negligible one-an almost imperceptible elevation in blood-

glucose levels," French said. "It's unfair to the American

people to withhold a drug so many of them desperately think

they need."

[MrPsychic 1]

Yes, everyone is so friggen gullable to believe anything... "Take this pill, you'll loose weight or get better" Or in the case of War of the Worlds "Martians are attacking New York!"

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

FINALLY!!!! I WAS WONDERING WHEN THEY WOULD APPROVE SOMETHING THEY'VE USED FOR THE PAST HALF CENTURY!!!!!