Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Jeanway

~ Roddenberry Gym And Fitness Center ~

Recommended Posts

Just opened. Come on down and show us what you got. :hug: Oh and we also have a pool. :flowers:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hehe cool can i be "ABS" the fitness instructor??,i will get you all firm and trimed with my high impact work out :flowers: ..i belive there is a thread somewhere here with a pic of my six pack :hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nik enters the gym for his daily workout. As he's changing in the men's locker room, he sees the usual complement - a bunch of 60 - 80 year olds who seem to spend their entire time walking around the locker room naked. Nik wonders why he never sees them outside the locker room. "For the love of God!" he thinks, "Put some clothes on!"

 

As Nik enters the weight room, he makes sure not to make eye contact with the steroid monkeys on the far end, and he trusts his better judgement against making such comments as "Why do all your teeth look like molars?", "Boy! That's a serious case of acne you got on your back!", and "The b**** t*** are coming along nicely!"

 

Nik decides to hit the arms today by starting off with a few standing curls. As he gets set up, he sees the usual gym patrons:

 

The Squattini Brothers - These guys do nothing but squats. They have thighs like tree trunks and butts like bowling balls. Their arms and necks are skinny.

 

"Tony Little" - this is the self-apointed spotter. As Nik starts his first rep with the easy-curl bar, "Tony Little" runs up to him and begins shouting in his face. "It's all you man!", "C'mon man! one more!", "I got you, man!", "Push it up, man!"

 

The Poser - This guy's chest magically puffs out when he enters the weight room. He does a set of dumbell presses, and spends the next 10 minutes flexing in the mirror.

 

Nik continues his workout, trying to ignore "Tony Little" and the screams of the steroid monkeys on the other side of the gym.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fenriz is doing a few stretches and trying to get his muscles to loosen up when a giant scowling Klingon walks up to him. "You will come with me." he growls. Deciding from the look on the Klingon's face that he'd better do what he's told Fenriz follows him. Walking into a room lit by torches Fenriz gets a sick feeling in his stomach. Taking a pair of bat'leths down from the wall the Klingon tosses one to Fenriz. Caught by surprise he weapon he nearly drops it. Looking at the Klingon Fenriz gulps. "What's going on?" Hefting his bat'leth the warrior looks at him. "You did sign up for the deluxe workout package, didn't you?" he asks. "Yeah but..."Fenriz starts to respond. "ENOUGH! PREPARE TO DIE! PAHTK!" the Klingon shouts as he charges at Fenriz.

An hour later Fenriz stumbles into the showers. His shirt is ripped and bloody and he's only wearing one shoe. Not bothering to get undressed he turns on the water and stands there fully dressed. After taking off his clothes Fenriz wraps a towel around his waist and heads for the sauna. Pain shoots through his body with each step. In the sauna he finds Nik and Hangon enjoying a shvitz. Fenriz groans loudly as he sits down. "Deluxe package huh?" Hangon asks. "Yeah." Fenriz replies. "Ouch." Hangon remarks. Both he and Nik nod, then all three of them sit back and relax.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So sat in the sauna the three buds lay back and relax when Hang aka "ABS" :flowers: asks fenriz..."did you see that guy with the things growing out of his back...must be horse steroids he is useing"......."yeah i did he looked like something out of jurassic park"...replys Fenriz......"so Hang you taken anything to build that solid looking body"..asks Nik.....Hang replys..."H*ll no this is all pure hard work no steroids for me dude,i pump it hard in the morning and i pump it hard at night :hug: "...the three sit back and laugh.... "that last sentence could be twisted in so many ways"..says Hang....still laughing hang says he is off to work out some more but the other 2 dont belive him..."Sure Hang we saw that new chick come in we know where you are going".....Hang turns round and says.."Hey you guys i am a married man,Daisy Fuates El Hango would not be to pleased with the Buffster if i did that"...laughing Hang leaves the sauna

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As Hang leaves the sauna he starts looking around for that new chick that had come in and spotted her in the corner of his eye chatting with Tal who is on the bench press. After 10 mins of chatting they leave together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Soon RK walks in with his gym bag and changes and gose over to the bench press and puts on 1,000 pounds and dose 6 sets of 25 reps. Than he gose over to the ab machine and loads it up to the max and begins to lift even more.

 

Soon everybody begins to look at RK and he replys. I am Govenor Voric and I am here to pump yoa uop!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

" THE SPA BAR "

 

 

 

 

IS NOW OPEN 24/7. LOCATED AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS. JUST FOLLOW THE ARROWS. KAREOKE, AMATUER NITE, LIVE ENTERTAINMENT, FREE BUFFET, LADIES NIGHT { EVERY NIGHT } SERVES THE BEST TROPICAL DRINKS AND IMPORTED BEERS IN TOWN. PRIVATE ROOMS AVAILABLE.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seeing the sign BAR Hang aka"ÄBS" heads upstairs for a drink passing a few rooms that say private on them :hug: ..lord only knows what goes on behind those doors :flowers: ...sitting down at the bar Hang looks at the barmaid and says"Martini on the rocks..shaken not stirred"...the barmaid makes Hang his drink and asks "do you want some nuts with that"....."depends ..do you have roasted peanuts or just salted??"......"both which would you like MR??"......"Oh sorry the names Bond ...James bond"..wow thinks Hang that Martini went straight to my head...he looks at the barmaid and says.."taxi the co ca cabana"..and falls off the bar stool.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fenriz wanders into ' THE SPA BAR ' after his shvitz and shower. Finding a nice table in the corner. He orders a beer and then spends 10 minutes looking like this :flowers: while the Ferengi waiting on him runs down the complete list of all the different beers available. "Nevermind. I'll have a Pepsi." he decides. "Regular Pepsi, Vanilla Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Pepsi Blue, Pepsi One, or caffeine free Pepsi?" the Ferengi server asks. :hug: "Forget it. Just let me have some water." Fenriz says. "Tap water, mineral water, sparkling water, soda water, or distilled water?" :blink: "Enough. I think I'll just sit here for a while." Fenriz says. "Suit yourself buddy." the Ferengi replies. On stage two Klingons start singing karaoke. :eek:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The boombox carrying Gretchen enters the crowded gym. She claps her hands together and yells "You ready Ladies?" They all yell "YEA!" raising a fisted right hand in the air. She pushes a button and " I'm a Fool to do Your Dirty Work" echos through the room. The ladies begin their stretching exercises.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ILS stumbles it to the gym eith his two cains, he walks to the desk and says"Goodmorning, my doctor ordered me to come here to do some exersice to improve my recovery, here is my here is a note from the doctor so my gym-instructor know what i have to do"

"Ofcourse sire i wil register you, please fill out this form"

ILS takes a pen and starts to fill out the form, he gives it back to the lady behind the desk.

"Alright sir you can change clothes in the lockerroom, here is a key for a locker, than you can go to gymroom nr 2 and the instructor will meet you there"

 

in the lockerroom ILS changes his clothes, he puts on his red-white-blue striped boxershort(colors of the dutch flag) :flowers: and his orange shirt. he takes his towel and his bottle with Gatorade and walks into the gym and waits for his instructor :hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gretchen, who is the instructor as well as the owner walks into the exercise room. She is blonde, tall, thin and muscular. She is wearing tight, black bicycle shorts and a pink tube top.

 

This is how ILS looks at her,first like this-->> :laugh: Then like this-->> :blink: Then he wobbles, feebly on his two cains then falls down. Gretchen helps the poor wretched man to his feet and sits him on a chair. "Are you alright Sir?" She asks him. She looks down at what she is wearing and says. " Oh, perhaps I should change, I know this top is a bit snug." As she tugs on the top trying to pull it up.

 

ILS starts muttering very fast trying to tell her "NO, it's fine" but she leaves the room and comes back in a minute wearing sweats and a big baggy shirt. Now he looks like this-->> :blink: Then this-->> :P and finally this-->> :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okey Mr. ILS the first exersice youll have to do is to to stand up , hands in the air(gretchen show ILS how to do it) and than bend over and touch the floor(Gretchens bends forward and ILS sees that her her bigg baggy shirt drops off, gretchen took off her pink tube top in the dressingroom earlier becouse it would be to hot with to many clothes on)

"OOppsss omg i am so sorry mr. ILS(she quikly puts on the shirt) are you alright sir? you look so pale, hello... hello...HELLO MR. ILS, OMG!! he is having A HEARTATTACK SOMEBODY CALL 911 :assimilated:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay we need a defribulator and some saline for his IV....

Ok, clear!!!! *buzz...*

 

Ok, I'm getting a pulse....

He's breathing.

We need to give him some warm liquids please. Nothing cold or he could go into shock.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gretchen calls Roddenberry General Hospital to get an Update on ILS's condition. "He WHAT!!!! :bow: Your kidding me!" She yells into the phone. She hangs up and says to her assistant Sven, the Big Bully Bouncer for the Spa Bar. "Your NOT going ta believe dis Sven. Dee man waas actually kicked from de hospeetal because he vas havin de parties in de room all de day and de night with da beer and da girls in dere with him. Vat an idiot he must be!!! OH and By da BY, it vas no attack ov de heart it vas the attack uf de anxiety :bow: ." Gretchen said.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

T::tina Walks buy drinking a iced coffee eating a pinnaple muffin::

 

Another Business with Roddenberry in the name? How many do we need

 

Eh i don't work out ::walks on::

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Vell by golly I taut dat Dutchman vas a fakin' sometin' when I help him. He vas always lookin' at da girls when he a shood be vorkin' hes scrawny muscles." Sven said to Gretchen. "Vhen he show hes face aroun' heer again I show him da vorkout he never gonna forget, by god." For emphasis Sven flexed his muscles and admired himself in the mirror.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Sven, de next time ya see dat pineyapple muffin eatin person lookin like she gonna come in here you jump up quick and lock all de doors, Ya got me Sven? Dat piggendepoken" Gretchen yelled.

 

 

YAAA, I gotcha Gretchin. Lock all de doors." :bow: Sven Yelled back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nik walks down the hall after watching "the show" from the back line in an aerobics class. As he exits, he slips on a dropped piece of muffin. Embarrassed and swearing under his breath while muttering about the number of calories in muffins today, he gets up. As he walks down the hall, he notices that the air conditioning is a bit too intense in the gym today. Remembering his towel in the aerobics class, he turns around and runs into Sven, who has taken his shirt off at the request of a couple of ladies. Nik, coming up to Sven's chest, steps back and shakes his head quickly, noting the effect of the air conditioning on Sven's pecs.

 

"Geesh! Put a shirt on, you can poke somebody's eye out with those!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WAB came in with a gym bag. The scrawny youth went to the treadmill and ran at a steady rate of 7 mph for the next hour. He then did 100 situps and 25 pushups. All the while he ingested a gallon of water. After that he played some tennis. After that he played volelyball with the ladies.... :bow:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gretchen announces over the loud speaker. " Co-Ed exercise class wil be starting in the Gym in 10 minutes!" :bow:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gretchen announces over the loud speaker. " Co-Ed exercise class wil be starting in the Gym in 10 minutes!" :bow:

Nik RUNS to the gym! He takes a spot in the back row.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damien(ILS,s son sees the entire embarresing scene with his father and turns to daniel(hangon,s son) "hey look at my old man, he is doing it again he is such a wuff(press bench150 kilo,s), hey i here Gretchen is giving class, c'mon daniel lets see that chick jump up and down!!" :bow::bow:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gretchen and Sven set up the gym for the co-ed exercise class{ Co-ed for all our foreign members means Boys AND girls excercise together}. Putting out their step panels and waiting for everyone to show up. Sven stands at the front and flexes all his muscles as the Ladies walk past him, admiring him. :bow: :( All the guys just pull in their stomachs and try to look bigger. :o Gretchen just leans up against the wall and watches. :bow:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damien and daniel join the class, they see sven pumping his muscels, daniel yelles,"hey sven are those steroids under your skin or are you just happy to see me" :bow: the two boy burst into a laugh, damien ask Gretchen if she could do that same exersice again wich made his father collapse, both boys are roling on the floor from laughing :bow: :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WAB ran in at the last minute joining Dan and Damien, staring at gretchen... :bow: :bow: :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites