love

[cptwright 1]

love is unconditional surrender of yourself. you would give anything and everything for the person you love. lay down your life, or simply be there for them in a time of need. this applies to all love, family, friends, etc. but in terms to a "significant other" there is so much to it, and it is definately a spiritual thing, there is physical attraction, and all that, but love looks beyond all that to a persons soul. i have learned a lot about love lately as well. also once your in love, it may change, but never fade, for instance i still love my ex wife to be, but in a plutonic way, i will always be there for her if she needs me to be, she has been my best friend for years, and i will still cherish that part of our relationship. now for the change part, i say it can change, because sometimes due to acts commited against you, you may feel different in ways where you just cant take it anymore and remain on a sensible level of sanity, but you never stop caring for the person. i have also come to the conclusion that ONE TRUE LOVE does not exist, however you may find someone to love, and have it last forever in a beautiful way, but if your heart is open, even after being busted up, you can allow someone else into it, and love them as well, never quite the same as the one before, but a true feeling of love none the less. love is never perfect though, its one of the hardest things to have to cope with in life, while also being one of the most wonderful things. love can put you on such a high that no drug or alcohol can ever compare too, and bring you down so low that you feel like the ants are giants. it can make you feel like you can conquer the world and at the same time make you feel like a beaten down dog. love means putting in the work on a relationship, not just running when the road gets tough, thats just infatuation. i have known love, and almost never wanted it again, but i now hope to find it again someday. for once you have known true love, you can never live without it indefinatley. but then again they say it is better to of loved and lost than to of never loved at all. for a time i disagreed wholly with this, but now i truly feel this is as true as it gets. those who have never loved, are truly missing out on something wonderful. well now i guess ill stop boring you with my philosophy on love, but you asked. :huh:

[RikerChick 5]

Not boring at all, that was very well said.

[hangon 3]

Along the same note, I think people hit a rough patch and think they've "fallen out of love". What they don't realize is that true love is full of rough patches and if you stick it out together it helps your love grow stronger. You can't just give up the second things get hard.

I agree with that 100% :huh:

[Jeanway 0]

Absolutley, Nem. Alot of people don't think about that possiblilty . Thinking if a child were to come from this would I want to stay with this person.

[headborg 1]

Well cptwright beat me to it with his first sentence. You have to approach love the way you think of God, It's total surrender..the only way to truly know love (like knowing Christ) is to totally surrender to it and trust in it, any thing less will cause you pain-and that's the biggest problem most people can't take that leap of faith, and that's why love hurts most of the time. As for that saying "it's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. That's must have been coined by an idiot or someone who was a die-hard S&M guy. No ....given the choice, ignorance is indeed bless! You can't miss what you have never known. I could go on and on but i won't.

[Jeanway 0]

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Don't be taken in by his sweet words, I was :P

[edmcgon 0]

Love is the perfect combination of emotion and logic. Every form of love, whether romantic, family, friend, or God, can be attributed to the combination of these two mental aspects.

 

For romantic relationships, the attraction is the emotional aspect. The logical recognition that your mate is suited to you (for reasons which are uniquely your own) is what keeps you with your mate.

 

For family relationships, the emotional aspect is the unspoken bond between child and parent. In larger families, this bond can extend to other relatives. The logical aspect is the recognition that these people will accept you regardless of your flaws (perceived or real). That does NOT mean they won't remind you of your flaws. They just will not reject you because of them.

 

Friend relationships are similar to romantic and family relationships. While there is an emotional "attraction" to friends, it is based more on common interests and/or life experiences than a romantic relationship would be. The fact your friends accept you for who you are cements the logical aspect of the relationship.

 

The emotional love of God is also similar to the unspoken bond between child and parent. The logical aspect comes with the recognition of the existance of God.

 

I confess these are very simplified and general descriptions.

[Julie 0]

I dunnow if it's a spiritual thing or not. alls I know is who I love, and why I love him, not HOW I love him.

[Jeanway 0]

That was beautiful Ed :P

[Gotabite 0]

I missed this thread when it was a hot topic. But I still think it's one I'd like to respond to. For I don't believe many understand the implications of using this term when they declare their love for someone, including relatives. Yes, there are different kinds of love....the love a parent is suppose to have for a child; the love siblings and other relatives are supposed to have for each other.....My understanding of love is that it is should be unconditional, not controlling.....and yet I have seen parents dis-own children who are gay, or have babies out of wedlock, or even who don't live up to their expectations.......In addition love means accepting imperfections, and health changes. I have known husbands to leave their wives becasue they could not accept them after a mastectomy, or after they had been victims of rape. I have known husbands and wives to be unfaithful and to justify this behavior saying, "it really didn't mean anything.".........One of the most powerful poems I have ever read about love is written in a book called "The Prophet.".......a verse form it reads...."think not that you can direct the course of love, for love if it finds you worthy, directs your course.......To me this means, if you say you love someone, prepare yourself for almost anything......For love reflects this life we live. If you can't handle all of the imperfections of this life stay away from love......For when you say "I love you to anyone".......you are saying, I am there for you......whether it is your child, your friend, your lover, spouse....whoever......you are also saying, I will not hurt or abuse you intentionally, I accept you regardless, I will forgive your imperfections, I will be there for you during difficult times.....in other words, you can count on me.........I find especially when there is romantic love, couples get so caught up in the intimate aspects, that they forget that there is more to life than the intimacy. In fact much of their love is shallow and doesn't go far beyond the physical........if you ask them why they love the person....they can't tell you very much.........I know I'm writing too much here.......but LOVE is a very powerful word. It has a beautiful meaning. And yet, I find some take it lightly; don't understand it, abuse it and use it as a means of control.

Edited March 31, 2004 by Gotabite

[fenriz275 0]

when I figure out love I'll let everyone in on the secret. All I know is that it usually blindsides me, like somebody wacked me in th head with a shovel. Then I'm in a daze for a while.

[cptwright 1]

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Don't be taken in by his sweet words, I was

hey now, what do you mean dont be taken in? thats just how i feel about it. is that so wrong.

[Turak 0]

For love reflects this life we live. If you can't handle all of the imperfections of this life stay away from love......For when you say "I love you to anyone".......you are saying, I am there for you......whether it is your child, your friend, your lover, spouse....whoever......you are also saying, I will not hurt or abuse you intentionally, I accept you regardless, I will forgive your imperfections, I will be there for you during difficult times.....in other words, you can count on me.........I find especially when there is romantic love, couples get so caught up in the intimate aspects, that they forget that there is more to life than the intimacy. In fact much of their love is shallow and doesn't go far beyond the physical........if you ask them why they love the person....they can't tell you very much.........I know I'm writing too much here.......but LOVE is a very powerful word. It has a beautiful meaning. And yet, I find some take it lightly; don't understand it, abuse it and use it as a means of control.

That is the most mis-understood aspect of it in my opinion too. Most people, including my last long relationship, don't take it into account. it's all physical and nothing else. The only thing you left out is honesty. A relationship cannot continue without honesty, and it cannot be build on sex alone. I'm a firm believer of that. Always have been. Glad to see there are others like me who don't just say "I love you" becuase it sounds good.

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard 1]

i was interested to see some people's opinion on this subject. is love a biological urge or a spiritual quality? explain your opinion.

It depends. Their are many forms of love. Which form are you inquiring about?

[she_wolf 0]

I think that love is just a complicated emotion, and alot of people confuse it with plain and simple infatuation.

[Gotabite 0]

For love reflects this life we live. If you can't handle all of the imperfections of this life stay away from love......For when you say "I love you to anyone".......you are saying, I am there for you......whether it is your child, your friend, your lover, spouse....whoever......you are also saying, I will not hurt or abuse you intentionally, I accept you regardless, I will forgive your imperfections, I will be there for you during difficult times.....in other words, you can count on me.........I find especially when there is romantic love, couples get so caught up in the intimate aspects, that they forget that there is more to life than the intimacy. In fact much of their love is shallow and doesn't go far beyond the physical........if you ask them why they love the person....they can't tell you very much.........I know I'm writing too much here.......but LOVE is a very powerful word. It has a beautiful meaning. And yet, I find some take it lightly; don't understand it, abuse it and use it as a means of control.

That is the most mis-understood aspect of it in my opinion too. Most people, including my last long relationship, don't take it into account. it's all physical and nothing else. The only thing you left out is honesty. A relationship cannot continue without honesty, and it cannot be build on sex alone. I'm a firm believer of that. Always have been. Glad to see there are others like me who don't just say "I love you" becuase it sounds good.

Chronic, even though I didn't use the word "honesty," it was implied. But thanks for pointing out to me that I didn't say it. You are correct...you can not have love without honesty. If people say "I love you", and are unable to live up to what these words imply; they are being very dishonest. Also, if they are not honest with you through out the relationship, they don't love you. <_<

[Turak 0]

For love reflects this life we live. If you can't handle all of the imperfections of this life stay away from love......For when you say "I love you to anyone".......you are saying, I am there for you......whether it is your child, your friend, your lover, spouse....whoever......you are also saying, I will not hurt or abuse you intentionally, I accept you regardless, I will forgive your imperfections, I will be there for you during difficult times.....in other words, you can count on me.........I find especially when there is romantic love, couples get so caught up in the intimate aspects, that they forget that there is more to life than the intimacy. In fact much of their love is shallow and doesn't go far beyond the physical........if you ask them why they love the person....they can't tell you very much.........I know I'm writing too much here.......but LOVE is a very powerful word. It has a beautiful meaning. And yet, I find some take it lightly; don't understand it, abuse it and use it as a means of control.

That is the most mis-understood aspect of it in my opinion too. Most people, including my last long relationship, don't take it into account. it's all physical and nothing else. The only thing you left out is honesty. A relationship cannot continue without honesty, and it cannot be build on sex alone. I'm a firm believer of that. Always have been. Glad to see there are others like me who don't just say "I love you" becuase it sounds good.

Chronic, even though I didn't use the word "honesty," it was implied. But thanks for pointing out to me that I didn't say it. You are correct...you can not have love without honesty. If people say "I love you", and are unable to live up to what these words imply; they are being very dishonest. Also, if they are not honest with you through out the relationship, they don't love you. <_<

Agreed. That's how my last relationship ended up. Ever since Christmas day, when she told me she "loved" me, then left for the holidays with her family. But she didnt go see her family. She went to her ex bf's house, and decided he was better than I, then chose not to tell me. I basically forced her to talk to me about it a few days later, since she refused to talk to me, and she broke it off. 2 days later, he was living with her. In the apartment directly above mine. She also lied to him about be, and he found out about it, of course, and left her. So now she's alone and doesn't know how to handle it. People say it's what she deserves, and they are right. I just still love her so much, that I want to be there as a friend and nothing more. Just because he left her the day after her grandmother died, and i know she's lower now than she's ever been. That's true love, or it's me being a fool. I just don;t like to see people I care about in pain, regardless of the pain the caused me. We had talked of children, and eventual marraige, and I was happy. For the only time in my short life, I was. Then she does this, and it's scarred me. I thought she was the last person in the world that would intentionally hurt me. Sometimes I guess the ones we love are the ones that are right behind us with the knife....and right now, i dont honestly see myself having another relationship. She was the one, and she's gone. I can't really explain it further without going into an enormus amount of detail, and this isn't the medium to do so

Edited April 1, 2004 by chronic

[Gotabite 0]

She was the one, and she's gone. I can't really explain it further without going into an enormus amount of detail, and this isn't the medium to do so

Chronic,

You are hurt now. You gave your heart to someone who did not love you. And even though you really loved her, she is not the one for you. I sincerely hope in trying to be a friend to her now,you won't allow her to hurt you again, because you are still very vulnerable. It might be helpful in getting you over this pain, if you could talk with a counselor. It is possible for you to love again....you just want to be able to make a wiser choice next time and get to know the person better before you give your heart. <_<

[Syperphobia 0]

I know many people would think im crazy saying this, but this was said on VOY and I agree with it, Love is a disease, nothing fatal, but with the absence of a loved one it can be. Love makes us do, say, think crazy things (from killing a betrayed lover to having lustful thoughts). I really think that its not really bad of a disease to have cause it makes life a lot more interesting to live.

[Jeanway 0]

OH MAN, I think I have that disease :laugh: I don't feel too good.

[fenriz275 0]

I'm right there with you Tazzy

[Turak 0]

She was the one, and she's gone. I can't really explain it further without going into an enormus amount of detail, and this isn't the medium to do so

Chronic,

You are hurt now. You gave your heart to someone who did not love you. And even though you really loved her, she is not the one for you. I sincerely hope in trying to be a friend to her now,you won't allow her to hurt you again, because you are still very vulnerable. It might be helpful in getting you over this pain, if you could talk with a counselor. It is possible for you to love again....you just want to be able to make a wiser choice next time and get to know the person better before you give your heart.

well..i had known her for about 3 years prior to any of it happening, and she just turned out to not be the person i thought she was. i'm sure i'll be over it in time, just have good day, and bad days

[Jeanway 0]

I'm right there with you Tazzy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes , you are

[Guest EJP]

I dunnow if it's a spiritual thing or not. alls I know is who I love, and why I love him, not HOW I love him.

That's sweet, Julie. I'm sure you're person loves you just as much as you love him!

[fenriz275 0]

love is a swift kick to the testicles, I'm done with it.

[Guest EJP]

love is a swift kick to the testicles, I'm done with it.

So many jokes, none of them appropriate.

 

 

that sucks, Fenriz. Personally, I think love happens to everyone, but sometimes you gotta stop pinging actively and go with the passive sensors. in otherwords, relax and let it find you. easier that way.

[cptwright 1]

yeah love can be a swift kick. but agentj is right. leave it alone, and when your ready, it will find you. and be better than you thought. the harder you look for it, the more your gonna find it in the wrong places.

[fenriz275 0]

no I'm done, I've ignored my intuition to many times, I'm done with love, all I get from it is trouble, I quit love.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Well, it seems this thread is concentrating on "romantic" love - and as others have stated it can be confused with attraction, lust etc.

 

The other types of love shouldn't be ignored. In fact those can often be a source of comfort when romance goes sour - or the impetus to keep you going until time heals.

 

Chronic, people we love are the only ones that can hurt us - at the same time we can only hurt the people that love us. If you still feel compassion for your ex-girlfriend it is because IMO you are experiencing a deeper kind of love - brotherly love perhaps. That doesn't mean you should get back with her but the ability to feel compassion for another human being should be valued - so many people seem to lack that ability anymore.

 

I totally understand what others have said about giving up on love - when you're hurting it seems the only logical choice - a protection against future pain. But when you shut those doors you shut out a lot more than the potential for pain. A lot of potential for happiness stays out too. AND, what I can say from experience - that choice isn't without consequences as well, you may find turning off your heart will in time bring another kind of pain.

 

Life can be difficult. As far as I know - no one has died from a broken heart no matter how much they wanted to. We recover and hopefully become stronger than the experience. This world is in such pitiful shape precisely because so many have lost the ability to truly love their fellowman. Whoa, alright I'm done now.

[Odie 0]

Infatuation is biological, love is spiritual.

I have to agree with you.